Five things I learned in high school

1. God leads through parents

For me, this meant "My parents really ARE right!"

I know that, in high school, you really want to just do your own thing. You realize that you're not an adult--and you know that you DON'T know everything--but you feel that you know enough about yourself and the world to be taken seriously. If you disagree with your parents? Yeah, admit it, your first thoughts are along the lines of "They don't know what it's like to be me--so they're wrong." 

The truth is that parents generally see things better than you do. 

If your parents are non-Christian or abusive--and if that is the case, I am so, so, sorry--you need to do two things:

(1) Find a mentor who is a safe, loving Christian;

(2) Honor your parents to the point where it is safe (if your parents are abusive, get help)

God still works through parents. We can't always understand why He chooses to work through what we see as unpleasant and undesirable situations, but we can't see the whole picture.

No matter what you're going through with your parents, God commands you to honor them. He sees the big picture. He's building you into the amazing person He created you to be, and He's getting you ready for an awesome future. So even when you think your parents don't know what they're doing or what they're talking about, remember--God always knows what He's doing.

2. My worth is not defined by my friends. Not by how many friends I have, not by how influential or popular my friends are, not by how many close friends I have, not by how close I am with my friends, not by how many of my close friends are popular--none of that.

I used to be wrapped up in the idea that I needed a close friend or two to validate the fact that I was worth something. Oh, my parents were encouraging, but it didn't matter to me. No matter how many times anybody in my family told me I was wonderful, I still thought to myself, "Well, that's because they're family. Of course they're going to say that. They're biased. I need somebody unbiased to tell me I'm worth something."

Guess what? That's a big fat dirty lie.

If you go for long stretches with no close friends, there is nothing wrong with you! Trust me. By senior year, I was close friends with many wonderful, amazing girls--who, incidentally, all told similar stories. We all knew what it was like to feel alone. We all knew what it was like to be left out. But we'd all learned that we're valuable as individuals. We'd all learned that some people will just be mean. We'd all learned that LOTS of people are exclusive--just because. And we'd learned not to take things personally, but to just keep going.

Think about it this way: In high school, you realize how awful everybody had it in middle school. Well, once you're out of high school, you realize how awful everybody had it in high school.

3. My worth is not defined by boys.

I'm eighteen now, and I've never been kissed.

I've never been on a date.

I've never been asked to a dance.

Hey, I've never even had a boy ask for my number!

And it's not that I don't know any boys. I know plenty of boys. They just chose to date other girls.

Of course, that could be crushing. I could ask myself things like "Am I not pretty enough?" "Am I not skinny enough?" and "What's wrong with me that boys don't like me?"

But the truth is...they just chose to date other girls. And it doesn't mean I need to change. It just means that God created me for a special kind of person--a kind of person I haven't met yet. They're out there. I just haven't met them.

And the same goes for you.

To perk you up a bit--high school boys are also immature. They may like you and never show it.

So, don't give up hope. You probably have a secret admirer. And whether or not he's "the one," you'll eventually realize that boys don't define your worth.

4.  Preparation is important.

Study for your tests. Study hard. Take them seriously. Especially tests colleges will see.

Go on college visits before senior year.

Apply to colleges as soon as you can.

Apply to scholarships. Start early. Start now.

5. Live every moment.

Really live it. Take everything in. Because before you know it....it'll be all over.

And as wonderful as that sounds right now...

You're going to wish you could go back and re-live all the amazing, hilarious, awe-inspiring, crazy, heartfelt, and random moments you're experiencing right now.

New artist: Jamie-Grace

If you like upbeat, uplifting Christian songs, take a look at new Christian artist Jamie-Grace!

The Perfection of Beauty

What do you think of when I say "the perfection of beauty"?

Picture for a moment what that would look like.

Now, are you imagining a girl who is pretty on the outside? Are you thinking of a model or a movie star?

Or are you thinking about a girl who shines Jesus?

Here's what the Bible says is the perfection of beauty:

"Out of Zion,
the perfection of beauty,
God shines forth."
Psalm 50:1

Is God shining out of you?

Those pesky mosquito bites!

Get a mosquito bite? Want to get that nasty itching to go away?

Rub some honey on a band-aid! The honey helps soothe the itching right away, and, as it's a natural remedy, you don't have to worry about nasty chemicals getting into the bite.

Movie Review: Thor

Thor is the only movie my family has seen in theaters three times in a row.

It's a wholesome classic with a good balance of action and romance, all tied together through a Biblical redemption theme.

I don't have much time to write a review, but if you have a chance to see it, I highly recommend it!

Two more fabulous books

Since I last updated, I've finished two additional books that are worth adding to any girl's historical fiction reading list. Both books--Just Jane (Ladies of History Series #2) and Washington's Lady (Ladies of History Series #3)--are written by Nancy Moser. Just Jane (written about the life of Jane Austen) teaches about the importance of dedicating yourself to pursuing your dreams, even in the midst of a busy life; Washington's Lady (based off the life of Martha Washington) encourages readers to have strength through even the most difficult times. Each book spends its last few pages clarifying which sections were historical fact and which sections came from the author's imagination. If you enjoy uplifting historical fiction, I highly recommend you add both of these books to your reading list!

Summer Reading List

Hey girls!
Here's a great start to your summer reading list, if you'd like to read some hip books that will lift you up in your faith and help you apply it to your everyday interactions. I've included many different genres and styles, and all books have been read and recommended by myself and many of my friends. :) Enjoy!

Revolve Devotional Bible

Of course, the Bible should be at the top of your reading list! I love this Bible (and many of my friends have the same one) because it's cute, it has commentary inside, and it has a great index where you can look up relevant topics. If you're in the market for a new Bible, I highly recommend it!

Just Ask by Melody Carlson

Fiction (series, book 1)

Kim, a teenager adopted from Korea, tries amidst tragedy to write an advice column for her school newspaper--while holding her own life and relationships together. Captivating and thought-provoking.
If you enjoyed this book, try John 3:16 by Nancy Moser.

More Beautiful You by Gwendolyn Diaz

Non-fiction (devotional)

Based off the song by Johnny Diaz, More Beautiful You looks through what the Bible says about worth, weight, popularity, appearance, boyfriends, and more. Written in a casual conversational style, with places for journaling and recommendations for further Bible passages to read.
If you enjoyed this book, try God Called a Girl: How Mary Changed Her World--And You Can Too by Shannon Primicerio.

The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom

Non-fiction (autobiography)

Corrie ten Boom's well-known story of surviving a World War II German concentration camp is grippingly told in this autobiography. Packed with Corrie's insights into living out a Christian faith in hard situations.
If you enjoyed this book, try Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe.

For Young Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa A. Rice

Non-fiction (advice)

The pages of this book are bursting with facts from an eye-opening survey conducted by the authors. The survey, which went in-depth with guys on a number of topics (including modesty, purity, dating, and others), can be summed up in one question: what are guys really thinking?
If you enjoyed this book, try For Young Men Only: A Guy's Guide to the Alien Gender by Jeff Feldhahn and Eric Rice. (no, really--it's just as eye-opening!)

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris
Non-fiction (advice)

Joshua Harris looks at the modern dating game, showing how it causes more broken hearts than happily-ever-afters. But don't worry, you don't have to become a nun--dating, when done right, can be both God-honoring and fun.

If you enjoyed this book, try Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris.

Persuasion by Jane Austen

Fiction (historical romance)

One of Jane Austen's lesser-known novels, Persuasion is a short but moving book demonstrating the importance of staying true to yourself in the midst of tumultuous relationships and...dare we say it....cute guys.

If you enjoyed this book, try Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen.

Those are my favorites. What are yours?

Comparatively

Comparatively.

Have you ever said that?

Comparing.

Have you ever done that?

Who's taller? Smarter? Skinnier? Healthier? Cooler? Wealthier? Prettier?

God doesn't like that sort of thing. Here's what He says about it in Galatians 5:26: "We will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original."

Think about that for a moment.

You are an original.

How valuable is an original Rembrandt? An original Van Gough? An original Degas?

Priceless, right?

The Creator of the Universe created a beautiful work of art.

And YOU are the original.

True Freedom from Galatians 5

This is one of my favorite Bible passages. It speaks on freedom in Christ--the kind of freedom that we long for as Christian teenagers encountering new freedoms in life.

Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.

I am emphatic about this. The moment any one of you submits to circumcision or any other rule-keeping system, at that same moment Christ's hard-won gift of freedom is squandered. I repeat my warning: The person who accepts the ways of circumcision trades all the advantages of the free life in Christ for the obligations of the slave life of the law. I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit. For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.

You were running superbly! Who cut in on you, deflecting you from the true course of obedience? This detour doesn't come from the One who called you into the race in the first place. And please don't toss this off as insignificant. It only takes a minute amount of yeast, you know, to permeate an entire loaf of bread. Deep down, the Master has given me confidence that you will not defect. But the one who is upsetting you, whoever he is, will bear the divine judgment.

As for the rumor that I continue to preach the ways of circumcision (as I did in those pre-Damascus Road days), that is absurd. Why would I still be persecuted, then? If I were preaching that old message, no one would be offended if I mentioned the Cross now and then—it would be so watered-down it wouldn't matter one way or the other. Why don't these agitators, obsessive as they are about circumcision, go all the way and castrate themselves!

It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?

My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.

But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.

The Real Cause of Conflict

Want to know why we teens have so much drama?
Why, as a teenager, it's all of a sudden so easy to unintentionally get into conflict with everyone?
Ever leave a conflict feeling awful but having no clue how to avoid future conflict?

The Bible, believe it or not, has some fantastic advice about these confusing conflicts. In fact, in the book of James, God asks the same question--"What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?"

Then, He gives us the answer (it's always nice when the teacher gives the answers, isn't it?:). God says this is the reason we argue: "Your passions are at war within you."

Isn't that the truth. Sometimes it does feel like a full-fledged World War III is going on inside our heads and hearts.

The question is, what passions are at war? And which do we value most?

Take a minute to make a list of your passions in order of priorities. Then, compare it to God's list:

1. Love God, and demonstrate that love through obedience

John 15:5-8, The Message: "I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you're joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can't produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

2. Honor my parents, and demonstrate that honor through obedience

Ephesians 6:1, The Message: "Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. 'Honor your father and mother' is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, 'so you will live well and have a long life.'"

3. Love my siblings

1 John 4:20, The Message: "If anyone boasts, 'I love God,' and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can't see?" (I've never hated my brother--but love is an action, not a word. I've always deeply cared about my brother, but, considering that love is an action, I'm grieved to admit I know I haven't always loved him)

4. Share God's love and joy with others through service

Galatians 5:13-14, The Message: "It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows."

I'll finish up with Philippians 2:1-4: "If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand."

The Respect Dare: Day 7

(feeling a little lost? See what this is all about)

Genesis 2:2-3 says, "By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done."

Think of all the work your parents do for you. Give them a day off today--cook meals, clean up the house, help with pets/siblings, and do anything else your parents would normally do.

Don't forget to keep doing what your parents tell you to (day 1) without complaining or arguing (day 2), obeying with a cheerful spirit and a smile (day 3), and doing unasked-for favors (day 4), all while avoiding getting angry (day 5)! It helps if you wake up and resolve to be cheerful (day 6). 

The Respect Dare: Day 6

(feeling a little lost? See what this is all about)

Proverbs 31:15 says, "She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens."

The Proverbs 31 woman is helpful and hardworking, waking before the break of dawn to help her family start the day off right.

It's easy to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Decide not to do that today. Or ever.

Don't forget to keep doing what your parents tell you to (day 1) without complaining or arguing (day 2), obeying with a cheerful spirit and a smile (day 3), and doing unasked-for favors (day 4), all while avoiding getting angry (day 5)!

The Respect Dare: Day 5

(feeling a little lost? See what this is all about)

I know, I've gotten behind...here's Day 5. Sorry for the delay! 

Proverbs 22:3 says, "The wise see danger ahead and avoid it, but fools keep going and get into trouble."

Even our best efforts sometimes fall short of preventing conflict. That's because we're all human, and, at one point or another, we're going to slip up.

However, we have to admit, many times we can see "danger" ahead...and we don't bother to avoid it. We want to prove that we are strong-willed and independent. In reality, we're just fools.

Today, choose to be truly strong. Choose to avoid danger. 

Some tips:

• Don't let yourself get too hungry. An empty stomach just screams trouble.
• Watch your attitude. Even attitudes you think can be hidden from your parents will come out in your tone and your manner.
• Apologize quickly. If you make a mistake, say so, and apologize for it. This will also help your parents trust you during times you actually didn't do something wrong and are trying to prove it.
• Just walk away. Your opinions WILL differ from your parents' opinions at times, but you don't always have to "convince" them to agree with you.

Don't forget to keep doing what your parents tell you to (day 1) without complaining or arguing (day 2), obeying with a cheerful spirit and a smile (day 3) and doing unasked-for favors (day 4)!

15-minute cookies

These are super yummy, super easy, and just take 15 minutes :) I've made these in a pinch at the last minute when I realize I've forgotten to bake something to bring to an event, and they taste fabulous!

You'll need:
One box of cake mix
Two eggs
1/2 cup oil
Anything else you'd like in the cookies--peppermint extract, chocolate chips, nuts, etc.

Combine all ingredients. Shape into 1-inch balls and bake at 350 degrees for 8 minutes (or until toothpick in center comes out clean).

I did this with Betty Crocker triple chocolate cake and butterscotch chips...yum! :) My recipe made 50 cookies.

Dear Amber,

"I am losing a battle between anorexia, self-esteem, depression, and me.

I know I won't win."

~Amber, Nebraska

-SixBillionSecrets

How do you know? It's a battle that's been fought by people before you--and won.

"Fight the good fight of faith, grabbing hold of the life that continues forever. You were called to have that life." 1 Timothy 6:12a, NCV.

Keep going! With Jesus fighting for you, you can do anything.

Dear Skyler,

"My best friend isn't doing too well.

Her parents are in a custody battle. She failed a test and her mom got mad at her.

Her mom didn't even show up to her birthday party. Her crush loves the girl she can't stand.

I wish someone would just tell her how amazing she is. She won't believe me."

~Skyler, North Carolina

-SixBillionSecrets

Skyler, I can hear your hurt. What a wonderful friend you must be to this girl! You've reached out to her and helped share her pain. Keep doing that. You might just save a life.

In the meantime, you need to let her accept herself. No matter how many times people tell her she's amazing, only three things can help her realize the truth:

First, knowing that Jesus died on the cross for her.

Second, seeing people act in a way that values and respects her.

And third, her allowing herself to accept herself. 

She's the only one who can control her belief. But in the meantime, you're doing a good job as the friend she needs to get through this in her life right now.

Dear BethanySlater,

"I look in the mirror.

I see a fat, ugly, and disgusting girl.

Everyone says that I'm pretty.

Didn't they say that lying is bad?"

~BethanySlater, PA
-SixBillionSecrets

Oh, girl, I've been there. I think all girls have, at one point or another, even if just for one short moment of their life. Don't listen to the voice in your head that constantly criticizes you. Everybody has that voice, and it is never happy. It wouldn't be happy if you were the twiggiest, "prettiest" model or superstar you've ever seen. You were created by God as His beautiful child--remember that every time you look in the mirror.

And if you still feel that you need to "fix" your flaws, be sure to talk to a parent or mentor or another trusted adult to make sure you keep the right perspective. It's okay to want to shape yourself into the person you want to be, but it's important that you're able to see exactly who you're becoming--and a mentor can help give perspective, keeping you the wonderful, beautiful girl God created you to be.

Never forget that the inside is more important than the outside. Yes, it's important to take care of your body. No, it's not okay to obsess over it. The more time you spend worrying about your outer appearance, the worse your inner character will become.

Be careful. Sometimes, the most dangerous flaws are the ones we care about...that aren't really there in the first place.

PS: Your post was really well-written :)

Prayers

I like to browse the website Six Billion Secrets, just to pray for the kids. Their stories break my heart...but God can use prayer to reach out to their lives.

Here are some of the heart-wrenching stories:

"Every day I write out a message about feeling depressed and wanting help. Every day I delete that message. Every day someone asks if I'm ok. Every day my mind tells me to nod,my heart tells me the opposite. Many that ask don't really want to know. Today l HOPE is the day I say No. If only someone will listen."

"I gave you 3 years of my life. You talked down to me, called me fat, insulted me and occasionally hit me. You're the only boyfriend I have ever had and I don't know what a real relationship is supposed to be like. I don't think I will ever get past how you treated me. I just want to feel loved."

"I told one of my best friends last night that in the past 2 weeks, I've attempted suicide 3 times. 'Oh,' was all you said. And then you changed the subject. I guess no one cares whether or not I die."

10 Ways to Feel Good about your Weight

Hey girls,
So we all feel insecure about our weight sometimes. I know girls who--at the time, already bordering on underweight--told me that they'd like to loose weight (as much as 10 pounds sometimes) before summer started (presumably, so that they'd look good in a swimsuit).

What do you do if you constantly struggle with feeling overweight? Here are a few exercises I've found helpful:

1. Read your Bible.
It's amazing what a profound difference the Word of God can make. Start in Psalm 139 and just start reading your Bible every day. Knowing you're God's child has a huge impact on your outlook.

2. Talk to God...then listen.
(aka pray)
Tell God how you feel. Tell God about what you've been reading in the Bible. Then, turn on some Christian music, and remember how much He loves you.

3. Love your image
When you look at yourself in the mirror, don't think about your weight. Tell yourself you're God's beautiful creation--and believe it. Even better, memorize Psalms 139:13-15 or write it on your mirror. Repeat those verses to yourself when you check in the mirror.

4. Exercise just to feel good
Everybody has their "feel good" exercise--something that just makes them happier, regardless of how many calories they think they've burned. Find yours! It could be going on a long run, doing a hundred crunches, or doing leg lifts until your legs feel like they're going to fall off. Find an exercise that you like to do, and just do it for fun. Don't time yourself. Don't worry about how long you go (unless that adds to the fun), and don't let yourself think about burning calories. Just exercise...just for fun.

5. Eat
It's easy, when you're feeling overweight, to under-eat or skip meals.
Don't.
This doesn't work for weight loss, by the way. It just knocks your self-esteem while lowering your metabolism.
Eat until you're full (not bursting--that isn't healthy--just until you're not hungry anymore). Enjoy your food...God gave you taste buds for a reason! And don't forget to leave a little room to eat a (healthy portion of) dessert once in awhile. When you do have dessert, decide in advance approximately how much you'll eat to satisfy that last little bit of hunger you saved just for dessert ("I'll have just one cookie" or "I'll have two scoops of ice cream") Then, enjoy your dessert without thinking about the calories EVER AGAIN. Not while you're eating, not after you've eaten it. Enjoy it.

6. Find your identity elsewhere
This sort-of goes with numbers 1 and 2. You need to have your identity in Jesus Christ and not in your appearance, so find an outlet to do something you love that makes God smile and gives you an identity: Try taking up a musical instrument, joining a photography club, or writing a blog. Find out who you are--you are much more than your weight.

7. Imagine where you would be if your health fell apart.
It's scary, but it does happen. People get sick. People get health problems. Someday, you may end up with a health issue that makes it difficult or near impossible to be as thin as you'd like, or you could end up in a situation where looks don't even matter to you anymore. If you completely lose your looks, what will you be? What will be left of you? What kind of a person will you be? Why will people value you? (they still will, you know) Read 1 Peter 3 for more on this. Develop inner character.

8. Buy a modest swimsuit
This is a huge one. If you're going to walk around in revealing clothes (especially if everyone else is also wearing revealing clothes) it's going to be much easier to feel insecure about your weight. Instead, buy a modest swimsuit. I wear a boys' t-shirt and shorts over mine. Yeah, it bugs me that I can't go to the pool and look skinny. But it also reminds me that being loving is more important than being skinny.

9. Stop caring for a day
Try wearing a full skirt, that one shirt you bought that's bit too big, or that giant hoodie. Just spending a day once in awhile going out of the house wearing something that DOESN'T make you feel skinny can do wonders for your self-confidence. Don't feel like you have to make a habit of dressing down, of course. It's okay to look good and know what clothes flatter your figure (modestly, of course) But spend a day once in awhile to remind yourself that what really matters about you is your inner beauty and your personality, and not your outer shell.

10. Make a list of Bible verses that describe you as a whole person
Look through the Bible, search BibleGateway.org, search on Google--do whatever it takes to find some great Bible verses that say "This is who you are." Find out who God says you are on the inside. Find out what He thinks about you. Make a list of Bible verses that describe how God thinks of you and who God says you are, and then work on memorizing them (you can even keep the list in your pocket).

There you have them--10 ways to feel better about your weight. Hope they helped! :)

Dating the wrong guy

I saw this article today and just had to post a link to it. It's called "Tell Somebody: 10 Surprising Signs You're Dating an Abusive Guy."

As I read this, I didn't just realize that it could be easy to overlook key warning signs (such as possessiveness and jealously) in a relationship--I also realized that we, as girls, can many times have the same issues. Maybe they don't come out ultimately in our abusing anybody, but they're hurtful habits nonetheless.

Think about it...how many friends have you had who were possessive of their boyfriends? Obsessive? Controlling?

Yeah. It's not good, for them or their boyfriend.

So, read the article. Take note of the 10 signs. And make a mental note to change your attitude as well, if necessary.

That's what prayer is for

I want to save the world.

You see, I have a problem. I want to help orphans abroad and foster care kids in America. I want to help slaves and freed kids, and kids at risk for slavery. I want to help kids in the inner city in America and in the jungles of Africa. I want to help feed the starving physically, and I want to help feed prosperous American teens spiritually. I want to help sick kids in the hospital and athletic kids in sports. I want to help animals and people. I want to do everything.

And I'm not alone. Chances are, you've been faced with this issue as well.

So, what do we do?

God's been reminding me of a couple things recently...

1. I can't do everything. I can't save the world.

2. But God can save the world. That's what prayer is for.

Prayer is our bringing a need to God's attention and pleading with Him to intervene. My favorite example of this is in Genesis 18, when Abraham convinces God to hold back His destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah for ten good people.

God hears our prayers. And that's how we--and He--can save the world.

The Respect Dare: Day 4

(feeling a little lost? See what this is all about)

(Sorry it took me so long to get this one up!)

Romans 12:9 and 11 say, "Your love must be real...Do not be lazy but work hard, serving the Lord with all your heart."

What's on your parents' to-do list? Go grocery shopping? Fix the doorhandle? Clean the oven?

What isn't getting done? And how hard are you working to show them that your love is real?

Believe it or not, your parents have a long list of to-dos--and they're probably not getting done with everything they'd like to do, whether in the way of chores around the house or fun things like reading books or spending time with friends.

Help take a bit of the load off your parents' shoulders today. Pay attention to the things they need done. Offer to help--or, better yet, surprise them! They'll not only appreciate the thoughtfulness, but they'll be relieved that you've taken something off their list of to-dos.

In a sentence...Do one unexpected chore or task on your own initiative. :)

Some ideas:

• Do the laundry
• Clean the bathroom
• Weed the garden
• Dust and/or vacuum the house
• Clean the oven
• Go grocery shopping
• Take one of your siblings to their activities
• Make dinner--and make enough to freeze some leftovers

Don't forget to keep doing what your parents tell you to (day 1) without complaining or arguing (day 2), obeying with a cheerful spirit and a smile (day 3)!

The Respect Dare: Day 3

(feeling a little lost? See what this is all about)

Parents have a lot of responsibilities--more than we really grasp.

Just take a minute to imagine that you suddenly were kicked out of the house and told to fend for yourself--make a mental list of everything you'd have to think about. What would you eat? What would you wear? Where would you live? Get an education? Get a job? Would you have insurance? How would you get around? When would you take care of your house?

And then, imagine you were given a kid, and told that this human being was now yours--their future in the world was now your responsibility (on top of all those other things).

Yeah. And you thought school was stressful.

Your parents already have enough stress to drain their strength.

Proverbs 17:22 says, "A happy heart is like good medicine, but a broken spirit drains your strength."

Be good medicine today--have a happy heart :) As you do what your parents tell you to (day 1) without complaining or arguing (day 2), obey with a cheerful spirit and a smile. As one of the youth pastors at my church likes to say, when your parents ask you to do something, respond with "I'd love to!"--and don't be sarcastic about it.

Now, don't be cheesy or overdo this one. Be real about it. Take it seriously. And even if your parents don't cheer up right away--even if they don't seem to notice!--don't get discouraged. After all, medicine doesn't always work right away. Sometimes it takes time.

Some of you may be thinking, "Okay, my parents don't seem stressed. At all. In fact, they seem pretty cheerful." And that's great! I've been there, too. And that's all the more reason to be cheerful with them.

PS: A fun way to remember this one is to draw a little smilie face on your hand! :)

The Respect Dare: Day 2

(feeling a little lost? See what this is all about)

Philippians 2:14 says, "Do everything without complaining or arguing."

It's a simple enough command. But is it easy in practice? No. Not when your parents tell you to clean your room, and you like it the way it is. Not when your parents tell you to stay home and do homework instead of going to see a movie with your friends. Complaining and arguing--as teenagers, we make those two things our defining characteristics in moments of trouble.

So, here's your dare today: as you obey your parents in everything they tell you (continuing your dare from day 1), stay away from complaining or arguing. Hold your tongue.

The Respect Dare: Day 1

(feeling a little lost? See what this is all about)

Our theme verse for this study is Colossians 3:20: "Children, obey your parents in all things, because this pleases the Lord."

It would be immensely helpful for you if, throughout our study, you worked to memorize this verse. Today, write the verse on your hand, write it on your mirror, put it on a sticky note on your calendar--whatever it takes to bring this verse to your attention.

One of my favorite quotes (albeit by non-Christian Kurt Vonnegut) is "We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be." This dare is about becoming someone who obeys and respects their parents, regardless of whether you feel respect for them or not.

Today, do whatever your parents tell you to. (minus anything illegal or immoral)

Yes, you read that right.

Remember our verse: "Children, obey your parents in all things, because this pleases the Lord." We often feel that we have to prove that we are independent--our own person--by fighting back or disobeying our parents (either to their face or when they're not looking).

Don't do that.

Even if you don't feel like it, even if you argue and fight today, do what they tell you. Obedience makes you your own person--you become a person of character, a person who follows God.

The Respect Dare (based on The Love Dare)

Just yesterday, I watched the movie Fireproof. Its powerful message of love and faithfulness inspired me, even though I'm currently single (if you haven't seen the movie yet, I highly recommend it).

Fireproof inspired me to become more intentional in my relationships with my parents and my little brother. Nevertheless, intentional by itself isn't enough. A plan of action (such as the Love Dare) helps measure progress.

That's why I've decided to start a series for teens based on The Love Dare (note: these are in no was affiliated with or endorsed by Fireproof, The Love Dare, or anybody associated with Fireproof or The Love Dare.)

It's called the Respect Dare, which is to help you with your parents. This dare is based off Colossians 3:20, which says "Children, obey your parents in all things, because this pleases the Lord." (NCV)

I highly recommend you watch Fireproof before starting, and I also recommend that you pray for at least three days and find out whether this is an area God would have you work on. If there's something else He's laid on your heart, then you need to follow that first.

For those of you doing this with me, welcome! We're going to have an exciting time.

Are you ready?

PS: The dares won't necessarily be posted each day--just work on whichever dare is the current day until the next one is posted :)

Truly a still, small voice

As you may guess from my recent posts, I've been thinking a lot about learning to hear God's voice. It's something He's been teaching me lately.

I'd always assumed that the reason people called the voice of God a "still, small voice" was because it's inaudible and inside your heart (or head, whichever you prefer). But I only recently realized that the voice really is still and small compared to the other voices I hear...almost like He's testing to see how closely I pay attention to Him.

For example, I tend to get carried away by emotions. I think most of us teenage girls do. But God's voice isn't a strong emotion--in fact, it sometimes runs contrary to my emotions! (usually when I need an attitude change) And it's quieter than my emotions. I have to be paying attention and desiring to hear His voice.

And God's voice isn't a loud voice. I've heard incorrect--and contradicting--things from "loud" voices in my head (not literal voices; they're more like strong emotions that are really easy to translate into strong words). But God's voice isn't like that.

God's voice just comes. It doesn't need prompting or figuring it out. It's either there or it isn't.

So now, instead of talking to God and then gauging my emotions or trying to figure out what He's saying, I just talk and then relax--knowing He's God and He'll guide me or answer me in His ways and His timing.

Now, I'm just speaking from my very limited and flawed experience. I'm still learning. I'd love to hear about your experiences in the comments section, since this is a topic that I'm still growing in and I'm sure every Christian could grow in more.

That is, until we see Him face-to-face...

What a wonderful thought :)

Encouragement in Matthew 5

If you're feeling down at all today, I encourage you to read Matthew 5 in the Message version of the Bible.

Click here to go to it.

A difference of responses

Have you ever wondered about the angel Gabriel? In Luke 1, he makes two visits: first to Zechariah, to promise the birth of John the Baptist; and second, to Mary, to foretell Jesus' birth. Though both Zechariah and Mary asked questions, Gabriel responded to Zechariah's questions by punishing Zechariah with nine months of muteness--while Gabriel gently answered Mary's questions. What was the difference?

Let's take a look at the first visit. Luke 1:5-22 tells the entire story, but we'll focus on verses 18 through 20. Gabriel has just announced that John the Baptist will be Zechariah's son, and this is Zechariah's answer (from the NCV):

"Zechariah said to the angel, 'How can I know what you say is true? I am an old man, and my wife is old, too.'
The angel answered him, 'I am Gabriel. I stand before God, who sent me to talk to you and to tell you this good news. Now, listen! You will not be able to speak until the day these things happen, ecause you did not believe what I told you. But they will really happen.'"

What do you see in this passage? Zechariah's question was not so much of a question as a challenge. He asked for a verification of the message, but followed up his question with an expression of his belief that the message could not really be verified at all. It's as if your parents came to you one day and said, "We're going to finally buy you a cell phone!"--and you responded (smirking) "Seriously? You've never even owned one yourself--I bet you don't even know how to set up a cell phone plan." How do you think your parents would respond?

Let's take a look at Mary's response next. Her story is told in Luke 1:26-38, but we'll focus on verses 34 through 38:

"Mary said to the angel, 'How will this happen since I am a virgin?'
The angel said to Mary, 'The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will cover you. For this reason the baby will be holy and will be called the Son of God. Now Elizabeth, your relative, is also pregnant with a son though she is very old. Everyone thought she could not have a baby, but she has been pregnant for six months. God can do anything!'
Mary said, 'I am the servant of the Lord. Let this happen to me as you say!' Then the angel went away."

Can you see the difference? Zechariah asked "How can I know what you say is true?" while Mary asked "How will this happen?" Mary didn't doubt that what the angel said was true. She knew it would happen; she just wanted to know how it would happen. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if a large part of Mary's motivation for asking the angel this question was her desire to follow God--something like, "Okay, how's this going to work out? Do I need to do anything?" Mary had both faith in God's power and a willing spirit to follow Him. Going back to our cell phone illustration, this would be as if your response went something along the lines of "Cool. What service provider were you thinking of signing me up with? Can I help you out in getting my phone set up?"

We could take a lesson from Mary in our interactions with God, too. Next time your parents or teachers tell you about a project or situation, let your response be "Great! Tell me more. Is there anything I can do?"

And next time God tells you to do something....

...get to it :)

Cultural Context: How relavent is it, really?

From girls who almost always wear homemade dresses and headcoverings to girls who don't look different from the average teenage atheist, Christian girls come in all varieties. We all claim to follow the same God through reading the same Bible. Nevertheless, our applications of God's principles differ widely.

My question for the past few years has been "To what extent should I make a 'break' with popular culture to follow God?" The answer is not altogether clear...at first glance. Let's take a walk through some of the Bible verses dealt with on each side of the argument, so you can get a sense of where each position comes from: (note: "conservative" means a girl who believes in wearing dresses, headcoverings, etc; "liberal" means a girl who believes in blending with the culture)

• Galatians 1:10: "Do you think I am trying to make people accept me? No, God is the One I am trying to please. Am I trying to please people? If I still wanted to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."
• Conservative view: Modifying your behavior and dress to match the culture is an attempt to please people, which is clearly contrary to the Bible's teaching. This is why we want to stand out.
• Liberal view: Our motivation in dressing like the culture is not to please others but to please God, who calls us to reach out to others.
• 1 Corinthians 10:32-33: "Never do anything that might hurt others—Jews, Greeks, or God's church—just as I, also, try to please everybody in every way. I am not trying to do what is good for me but what is good for most people so they can be saved."
• Conservative view: Dresses, worn for modesty, keep us from hurting boys. Wearing anything less modest may hurt boys by tempting those boys to lust.
• Liberal view: This verse justifies blending in with the culture. Dressing in ways that are unusual or doing things that are unusual could hurt someone's impression of the gospel, making it more difficult for them to be saved. We want to please everybody as far as it avoids sin.
• John 17:13-16: "I pray these things while I am still in the world so that these followers can have all of my joy in them. I have given them your teaching. And the world has hated them, because they don't belong to the world, just as I don't belong to the world. I am not asking you to take them out of the world but to keep them safe from the Evil One. They don't belong to the world, just as I don't belong to the world."
• Conservative view: We don't belong to the world. It's only natural that we don't fit in.
• Liberal view: First off, just claiming that we're Christians makes it harder to "fit in." Second, even though we're not of this world, we're in it. Jesus didn't dress differently, and neither should we.

And the list goes on. 

It's a hard issue, but it's not impossible.

Let's look at the behavior of people in the Bible. We'll take two examples, both from influential "John"s who knew Jesus: John the Baptist and John the disciple. 

John the Baptist is the only New Testament character I can think of who is similar to the "conservative" movement. John the Baptist dressed much differently than the culture, ate much different foods than the culture, acted much differently than the culture. Yes, played a pivotal role in history by paving the way for Jesus. He was the last prophet--but also the last "Old Testament" Bible character, if you will. No, he isn't technically an Old Testament prophet, but most of his ministry was before Jesus' ministry, and he died before Jesus died.

John the disciple (with all of the other disciples) resembles the modern movement: he dressed the same as the culture, ate similar foods as the culture, and acted similar to the culture. He also played a pivotal role in history: he wrote books of the Bible and led many to Jesus. He was one of the first modern Christians.

John the disciple followed Jesus in modern times. Shouldn't we do the same?

That doesn't mean we obsess over what the culture is doing. Not at all! Being like our culture should come naturally, actually. (In doubt? Just Google "American culture" and take a look at the long list of things you thought were "normal." You already behave according to many cultural standards!) What is unnatural is finding ways that are not only counter-cultural but just plain unheard-of to follow God. It's possible to follow God within the culture.

And guess what? A good side effect of this is that this has the potential to change culture for the better. In my town, a little while back, our newspaper had a front page article about girls becoming more modest with their clothing choices--choosing outfits that would cover more than they show. That's a side effect of Christians growing in godliness while reaching out to the culture. You don't alienate anybody, but at the same time you don't look quite the same. And when people ask you why you are different, you can tell them about God's amazing love and His role in your life.

I was thinking of following up this post with a post on how to apply this lesson, but I decided not to. Know why? Because God doesn't call us to make human rules about what we should or shouldn't do in trivial areas like this. He calls us to follow Him. I'm pretty sure He wouldn't want me saying "everyone should wear skinny jeans" or "no one should wear v-neck t-shirts." In fact, modesty and cultural relevancy differs from culture to culture and from girl to girl. So here's your application: read your Bible. The heart is ultimately far, far, far more important than anything you wear; and if you read your Bible (and God has some clothing guidelines there, too, so don't worry!) your life will naturally reflect His words.

And that's beautiful. :)

Following God's leading

Up to this point in my life, I can think of three really major decisions I've faced:"Which American Girl doll should I ask my grandma to buy me for my birthday?" "What college should I go to?" and "Should I fly on a plane with the new TSA scanners and pat-down procedures in place?" I prayed over and labored over all three decisions. And, with the exclusion of that first one, my final decisions for were all based on Bible verses.

That's right. Not an audible voice from God. Not a "whisper in my heart." Not a dream. Yes, Bible verses.

I've been listening to a lot of John MacArthur sermons lately (if you haven't heard of him, you should check out his website: gty.org). He happened to write a little book I have on my bookshelf that deals with following God's will. MacArthur makes several theologically sound points, my favorite being this: (and I paraphrase)

The only place we can find God's actual words--

the only "God's will" we can be 100% certain of--

is in the Bible.

Now, you may be wondering why I centered that. After all, it's a point that many of us Christian kids learn and hear over and over. 

But let me ask you something: how often do you really apply that? 

How often have you been told (by Christians, mind you) to "listen to God's will" or to "pray and see what God says"? Or to just sit quietly and "listen"?

I used to be one of those people. Adamantly, too. 

Until I started "hearing" things that I knew weren't true. 

Until I started "hearing" multiple voices telling me contradicting things.

You have to be very careful when you're dealing with spiritual matters. The devil has been trying to trick Christians for at least 6,000 years, if not longer, and he's gotten really good at it (you would too, if you'd been working on something 24/7 for 6,000 years!). The Bible says that the devil disguises himself as an "angel of light." Spiritual stuff is way more complicated and dangerous than we sometimes realize!

Now, I don't know about you, but when I have a super-big decision to make (such as where to attend college), I don't want to just listen to a "whisper in my heart"--especially one that's been confusing me. I want God to telephone me, telling me exactly what to do! 

Although we don't have God's audible voice telling us what to do, we do have the words of God in the Bible. In both my decision to apply to the Master's College and my decision to avoid flying on planes because of the TSA, I didn't have God telling me "go here" or "do that." However, I read His words in the Bible and applied them to each situation.

Is God able to lead through a "whisper in your heart?" Of course! But whatever that "whisper" says must match up with His word.

What the world is asking....

Used Google's instant search auto-complete: non-bold is what I typed in, bold is auto-complete answers. This is based off millions of searches by people around the world.

What the world is asking about....

Life
Why is life
1. so hard?
2. worth living?


Why is life not
1. fair?
2. easy?


Is life really
1. worth living?
2. a dream?
3. short?
4. worth it?


Religion
Is religion
1. fake?
2. real?
3. good?
4. dying?


Is religion really
1. necessary?
2. evil?
3. important?
4. true?


Why are atheists so
1. angry?
2. intolerant?
3. smug?
4. bitter?


Why are Buddhists so
1. happy?


Why are Jews so
1. cheap?
2. smart?
3. successful?
4. rich?


Why are Mormons so
1. hot?
2. happy?
3. nice?
4. attractive?


Why are Christians so
1. mean?
2. ignorant?
3. judgmental?
4. hypocritical?


Christianity
Why is Christian music so
1. bad?
2. boring?
3. dull?
4. awful?


Why is church so
1. boring?
2. important?


Do Christians
1. sin?
2. believe in ghosts?
3. believe in aliens?
4. overemphasize Christmas?


Why do pastors
1. lie?
2. have affairs?


Jesus and God

Is God

1. real?

2. just a human invention?

3. an alien?

4. dead?

Why was Jesus
1. born?
2. crucified?
3. killed?
4. baptized?


Why did Jesus
1. die?
2. come?
3. have to die?
4. come as a baby?


Is Jesus
1. God?
2. real?
3. a myth?


Is Jesus really
1. God?
2. the reason for the season?
3. the Son of God?
4. real?

Does God really

1. exist?

2. love me?

3. care?

4. answer prayers?

Prince of Persia and Tamina

I just finished watching the movie Prince of Persia with my family. Although I could write out a full review, I'm really itching to comment on the main female character (Tamina). 

SPOILERS AHEAD! :)

If you're a girl like me, you see Tamina in the opening scenes and think to yourself, "Oh, what I would do to get to wear that dress, have that henna design painted on my hands, and have those silver flowers in my hair. Then I would be so beautiful!" Throughout the movie, it's hard to ignore that Tamina has beauty beyond outer adornments: her hair, eyes, and complexion are gorgeous (not to mention her slim figure). 

As if that's not enough to envy, she's a princess with a cute/hot guy following her around--FOLLOWING her around. She's quite in-control, agile, and skillful, and a strong leader. She has all the independence, success, attention, and beauty we dream of as teenage girls.

But I want you to realize something very important: you have a lot in common with Tamina.

When God looks at you, He sees His beautiful bride. I want you to always envision yourself in the outfit Tamina wore in the opening and closing scenes. After all, that's how God sees you: Isaiah 61:10 says, "I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels." Psalm 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Your body shape, your eyes, your hair--they're beautifully crafted by God. Your salvation and righteousness before God is, to Him, like the most beautiful dress a bride could wear, along with all the jewels you'd use in your hair and your jewelry. Even when you can't see your beauty, look at yourself and tell yourself the truth: Tamina may not have always seen her beauty, but she certainly was beautiful; likewise, I may not see my own beauty, but Jesus has made me dazzlingly beautiful.

Something else about Tamina: She had strength, and with that came freedom--perfect independence. Not only that, but she was aware of and confident in her beauty and intelligence and independence. She knew she could have (or not have) the finest man in the world as her husband--accordingly, she was picky. As teenage girls, it's easy for [most of] us to have what I call a "man void." For those of us who can relate, this boils down to our longing to find and settle with our future husband. We tend to gravitate toward the current guys in our life right now, whether or not they're "quality" guys, just because it's so difficult to imagine ourselves marrying somebody we haven't even met yet. "How do I even know a guy like that actually exists? I'll believe it when I see it," we say, "And right now, I see this guy, and he's the best I've found." We don't act like we could have anyone in the world; instead, we take what we can get. That's a dangerous, dangerous road. Every time you find yourself falling for someone low-quality, just imagine yourself as Tamina. You're perfectly independent. You don't NEED a guy. If you do marry someone, he MUST be someone who will actually greatly improve your ability to love and serve God, not someone who will tear you down. Even Tamina looked beyond appearances: when conquerors (against whom she had no power) requested that she marry someone--first Tus, then Dastan--she didn't immediately accept. She said she would rather die than marry Tus! You have that same strength. If a guy isn't worth your effort, don't be so generous with it. Have high standards. God has called you to it. If a guy doesn't meet your high standards, don't expect him to be the one God has for you.

Throughout the movie, I enjoyed watching the (albeit overly-bossy) Tamina as she showcased her independence and strength, even in the face of dealing with attractive men. There isn't much more to learn from the Prince of Persia; nevertheless, this one lesson alone is a priceless jewel. Girls, never forget your identity as God's princess! It's a joy and a privilege too good to surrender.

Convo Starters: Wish Right Now

This is going to be a short little post because there's only a short little part of this song that anybody ever remembers. Quite honestly, it's the only part of the song that you really need to know to start a fantastic conversation. The rest is junk that you don't need to put into your head (after all, nobody else is putting it in theirs).

That little part goes like this:

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now...
Wish right now
Wish right now

This is a fantastic conversation starter! You can do one of two things:

1) You can say, "Oh, if I had that wish, I would wish for _____." Then let your friend tell what they'd wish for. Ask why they would wish for that, and build a conversation on their wish.

2) You can outright ask your friend, "If you had one wish, what would you wish for?" Then (like in the first method) ask why they would wish for that and build a conversation on it.

You might be surprised at what you get. This little song clip has potential for opening big doors!

Convo Starters: Forget You

I caught a friend of mine singing this yesterday, and (after being informed that the ultra-sucessful teen TV show Glee had covered the song) decided to use it in today's post. And yes, I'm posting the Glee video. Forgive the language, please. 

(Chorus)
I see you driving 'round town
With the girl I love and I'm like,
Forget you!
Oo, oo, oooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough, I'm like,
Forget you!
And forget her too!
Said, if I was richer, I'd still be with ya
ha , aint that some shit?
ain't that some shit
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Forget you!
Oo, oo, oooo

Yeah I'm sorry, I can't afford a ferrari,
But that don't mean I can't get you there.
I guess he's an xbox and I'm more atari,
But the way you play your game ain't fair.

I pity the fooool that falls in love with you oh
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend

I see you driving 'round town
With the girl I love and I'm like,
Forget you!
Oo, oo, oooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough, I'm like,
Forget you!
And forget her too!
Said, if I was richer, I'd still be with ya
ha , aint that some shh?
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Forget you!
Oo, oo, oooo

Now I know, that I had to borrow,
Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
Trying to keep ya, trying to please ya.
'Cause being in love with you ain't cheap.

now, I pity the fool that falls in love with you ohh
(oh shh she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
uh! I really hate your friend right now!

I see you driving 'round town
With the girl I love and I'm like,
Forget you!
Oo, oo, oooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough, I'm like,
Forget you!
And forget her too!
Said, if I was richer, I'd still be with ya
ha , aint that some shh?
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Forget you!
Oo, oo, oooo

Now baby, baby, baby, why d'you wanna wanna hurt me so bad?
(so bad, so bad, so bad)
I tried to tell my mamma but she told me
"this is one for your dad"
(your dad, your dad, your dad)
Uh! Whhhy? Uh! Whhhy? Uh!
Whhhy lady? Oh! I love you
I still Love you!! Ohhhh...

I see you driving 'round town
With the girl I love and I'm like,
Forget you!
Oo, oo, oooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough, I'm like,
Forget you!
And forget her too!
Said, if I was richer, I'd still be with ya
ha , aint that some shit?
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Forget you!
Oo, oo, oooo


Conversation starters:
This is actually a great conversation starter. The song is rich and deep, but on its own it's not going to do much good to a worldview. It needs a little help--which you can provide in a little conversation.


REJECTION/WORTH/GREED: It's so sad that the girl rejected him just 'cause he didn't have enough money! Some people. *pause for response* I mean, I can see where some people might want the money, but things happen, you know? That rich guy could lose all his money in a flash, and then where would she be?


WORTH/GREED/PRIORITIES: I think it's sad that the girl didn't see character first. I mean, yeah, it's nice to have money, but money isn't what makes you happy. *have conversation about money not making you happy*


REJECTION/GRACE: Okay, you know the one problem I have with that song? I mean, sure, she rejected him, and sure, he didn't deserve to get treated that way, but did he really have to get so angry at her in return? It's not like his anger did anything except stress him out. And you know, some people take their anger farther, and when you start getting into revenge, that's a vicious cycle that doesn't accomplish anything. He'd be much better off just being like, "Well, that's her problem!" and finding someone else.


And the review...

Synopsis: A guy loves a girl, but she is only dating wallets (so to speak)--so he angrily lashes out at her.


Background: Couldn't find anything on Wikipedia. Let me know if you research and come up with something.


Central theme: Rejection


Good points: It gives a voice to those of us who aren't filthily wealthy, and hints that there's more to a person than the "change in their pocket."


Bad points: Language. #1. You really don't need to use dirty words--and there's a reason they're called "dirty" words!--to get your point across. Secondly, the song responds to rejection with anger. A better response would be sympathy; after all, if a girl is only dating for money, you have to be sympathetic. She's got some pretty pathetic priorities and probably isn't very happy.


Overall: Not a great song, but it does show the reality of human nature: we're prone to falling into love of money over love of character, and it's easy to get angry when you're rejected. However, those aren't character traits to emulate! 
And I have to add...You gotta admit, the first verse is pretty sweet (from a lyricist's viewpoint, anyway).

Worth and Accomplishment

I've been trying to earn my worth.

After all, I mean, to be worth something in the world's eyes, you have to be great.

And I want to be great.

I want to be the best...the best at something. 

The trouble is, I'm not.

I'm not the best writer I know. I'm not the best student I know. I'm not the best friend I know. I'm not the best mentor I know. I'm not the best pianist I know. I'm not the best songwriter I know. I'm not the best blogger I know, the best fundraiser I know, the best teacher I know, the best artist I know.

I heard a song the other day. It came just as I was struggling with this issue of not being the best--of feeling like I'm worthless because I haven't done anything that others consider very worthwhile, and of feeling like I haven't found a purpose yet because I haven't found anything that I excel at.

The song (my new favorite) is Shadow of Angels by Building 429. Here are the lyrics that spoke to me:

I haven’t found me yet...

I got caught in the memories
Cause they never fail to prove
I’m insecure and incomplete
It’s a stinging point of truth

So I will never find the best of me
Until I find myself in You, I’ll find myself in You

Cause I believe that when I call for you
You hear the plea for my rescue
And You lift me up above the world I know
And I know that when I speak Your name
You hear my voice and send your saints
To cover me in the shadow of angels

Of course, on my iPod, this song was followed by Third Day's Who I Am ("This is who I am/This is who I am/So take me and make me something so much more") and Matthew West's More ("You are one in a million/And you belong to Me/I love you more than the sun and the stars that I taught how to shine/...And you shine for me"). 

Talk about signals from God.

I am not my own. I am God's child first and foremost, and nothing I do can make me great. On the contrary; anything good I do must come from God and not myself. I need to live in God's will, remembering His love each moment of each day, and His work will be done. Even if the world says that I'm not great, He says I am great. Even if I can never write, play music, cook, photograph, draw, teach, fundraise, or do anything else "great," if I am living in God's love, I am living out my purpose--better, even, than those who do "great" things but don't pay attention to God.

My devotionals today "happened" to include John 15:5, which is extraordinarily applicable to this situation. It says, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." 

Think about that.

In God alone do we bear much fruit.

Apart from God, we can do nothing.

As humans, we tend to be outcome-oriented. No matter how much work you put into that assignment--what was your grade? I don't care about how many fast-food places you applied to--do you have a job yet? You say your church is great, so prove it--how many people attend?

And the list goes on.

The problem is that when we look at results, we don't see the whole picture. We don't see motives. We don't see character. We don't see worship. We don't see, in reality, the most important part of the task: the part that involves the eternal things.

Someone who cheats in school can get an A from their teacher but an F from God. Someone who works their butt off looking for a job can fail in the world's eyes but gain valuable experience (and grow in patience!) with God. A church may be small, but its heart and devotion to the word of God could be bigger than the biggest megachurch.

As Christians, we're called to a different lifestyle. We're called to a whole lifestyle, which doesn't just include a whole bunch of results that can be listed. It's a journey. It's the stuff that doesn't show up on paper, but shines through in our life. If God only liked results, then He wouldn't leave us on earth--He'd just kill us off after we became Christians so that we could get right to His result, which is perfect life with Him in heaven. Instead, He gives us time here to develop our character. See? Even God is journey- and character-oriented.

So the next time you're discouraged, remember: growing your character and relationship with God is infinitely more important than all other "accomplishments."