The Respect Dare: Day 5

(feeling a little lost? See what this is all about)

I know, I've gotten behind...here's Day 5. Sorry for the delay! 

Proverbs 22:3 says, "The wise see danger ahead and avoid it, but fools keep going and get into trouble."

Even our best efforts sometimes fall short of preventing conflict. That's because we're all human, and, at one point or another, we're going to slip up.

However, we have to admit, many times we can see "danger" ahead...and we don't bother to avoid it. We want to prove that we are strong-willed and independent. In reality, we're just fools.

Today, choose to be truly strong. Choose to avoid danger. 

Some tips:

• Don't let yourself get too hungry. An empty stomach just screams trouble.
• Watch your attitude. Even attitudes you think can be hidden from your parents will come out in your tone and your manner.
• Apologize quickly. If you make a mistake, say so, and apologize for it. This will also help your parents trust you during times you actually didn't do something wrong and are trying to prove it.
• Just walk away. Your opinions WILL differ from your parents' opinions at times, but you don't always have to "convince" them to agree with you.

Don't forget to keep doing what your parents tell you to (day 1) without complaining or arguing (day 2), obeying with a cheerful spirit and a smile (day 3) and doing unasked-for favors (day 4)!

15-minute cookies

These are super yummy, super easy, and just take 15 minutes :) I've made these in a pinch at the last minute when I realize I've forgotten to bake something to bring to an event, and they taste fabulous!

You'll need:
One box of cake mix
Two eggs
1/2 cup oil
Anything else you'd like in the cookies--peppermint extract, chocolate chips, nuts, etc.

Combine all ingredients. Shape into 1-inch balls and bake at 350 degrees for 8 minutes (or until toothpick in center comes out clean).

I did this with Betty Crocker triple chocolate cake and butterscotch chips...yum! :) My recipe made 50 cookies.

Dear Amber,

"I am losing a battle between anorexia, self-esteem, depression, and me.

I know I won't win."

~Amber, Nebraska

-SixBillionSecrets

How do you know? It's a battle that's been fought by people before you--and won.

"Fight the good fight of faith, grabbing hold of the life that continues forever. You were called to have that life." 1 Timothy 6:12a, NCV.

Keep going! With Jesus fighting for you, you can do anything.

Dear Skyler,

"My best friend isn't doing too well.

Her parents are in a custody battle. She failed a test and her mom got mad at her.

Her mom didn't even show up to her birthday party. Her crush loves the girl she can't stand.

I wish someone would just tell her how amazing she is. She won't believe me."

~Skyler, North Carolina

-SixBillionSecrets

Skyler, I can hear your hurt. What a wonderful friend you must be to this girl! You've reached out to her and helped share her pain. Keep doing that. You might just save a life.

In the meantime, you need to let her accept herself. No matter how many times people tell her she's amazing, only three things can help her realize the truth:

First, knowing that Jesus died on the cross for her.

Second, seeing people act in a way that values and respects her.

And third, her allowing herself to accept herself. 

She's the only one who can control her belief. But in the meantime, you're doing a good job as the friend she needs to get through this in her life right now.

Dear BethanySlater,

"I look in the mirror.

I see a fat, ugly, and disgusting girl.

Everyone says that I'm pretty.

Didn't they say that lying is bad?"

~BethanySlater, PA
-SixBillionSecrets

Oh, girl, I've been there. I think all girls have, at one point or another, even if just for one short moment of their life. Don't listen to the voice in your head that constantly criticizes you. Everybody has that voice, and it is never happy. It wouldn't be happy if you were the twiggiest, "prettiest" model or superstar you've ever seen. You were created by God as His beautiful child--remember that every time you look in the mirror.

And if you still feel that you need to "fix" your flaws, be sure to talk to a parent or mentor or another trusted adult to make sure you keep the right perspective. It's okay to want to shape yourself into the person you want to be, but it's important that you're able to see exactly who you're becoming--and a mentor can help give perspective, keeping you the wonderful, beautiful girl God created you to be.

Never forget that the inside is more important than the outside. Yes, it's important to take care of your body. No, it's not okay to obsess over it. The more time you spend worrying about your outer appearance, the worse your inner character will become.

Be careful. Sometimes, the most dangerous flaws are the ones we care about...that aren't really there in the first place.

PS: Your post was really well-written :)

Prayers

I like to browse the website Six Billion Secrets, just to pray for the kids. Their stories break my heart...but God can use prayer to reach out to their lives.

Here are some of the heart-wrenching stories:

"Every day I write out a message about feeling depressed and wanting help. Every day I delete that message. Every day someone asks if I'm ok. Every day my mind tells me to nod,my heart tells me the opposite. Many that ask don't really want to know. Today l HOPE is the day I say No. If only someone will listen."

"I gave you 3 years of my life. You talked down to me, called me fat, insulted me and occasionally hit me. You're the only boyfriend I have ever had and I don't know what a real relationship is supposed to be like. I don't think I will ever get past how you treated me. I just want to feel loved."

"I told one of my best friends last night that in the past 2 weeks, I've attempted suicide 3 times. 'Oh,' was all you said. And then you changed the subject. I guess no one cares whether or not I die."

10 Ways to Feel Good about your Weight

Hey girls,
So we all feel insecure about our weight sometimes. I know girls who--at the time, already bordering on underweight--told me that they'd like to loose weight (as much as 10 pounds sometimes) before summer started (presumably, so that they'd look good in a swimsuit).

What do you do if you constantly struggle with feeling overweight? Here are a few exercises I've found helpful:

1. Read your Bible.
It's amazing what a profound difference the Word of God can make. Start in Psalm 139 and just start reading your Bible every day. Knowing you're God's child has a huge impact on your outlook.

2. Talk to God...then listen.
(aka pray)
Tell God how you feel. Tell God about what you've been reading in the Bible. Then, turn on some Christian music, and remember how much He loves you.

3. Love your image
When you look at yourself in the mirror, don't think about your weight. Tell yourself you're God's beautiful creation--and believe it. Even better, memorize Psalms 139:13-15 or write it on your mirror. Repeat those verses to yourself when you check in the mirror.

4. Exercise just to feel good
Everybody has their "feel good" exercise--something that just makes them happier, regardless of how many calories they think they've burned. Find yours! It could be going on a long run, doing a hundred crunches, or doing leg lifts until your legs feel like they're going to fall off. Find an exercise that you like to do, and just do it for fun. Don't time yourself. Don't worry about how long you go (unless that adds to the fun), and don't let yourself think about burning calories. Just exercise...just for fun.

5. Eat
It's easy, when you're feeling overweight, to under-eat or skip meals.
Don't.
This doesn't work for weight loss, by the way. It just knocks your self-esteem while lowering your metabolism.
Eat until you're full (not bursting--that isn't healthy--just until you're not hungry anymore). Enjoy your food...God gave you taste buds for a reason! And don't forget to leave a little room to eat a (healthy portion of) dessert once in awhile. When you do have dessert, decide in advance approximately how much you'll eat to satisfy that last little bit of hunger you saved just for dessert ("I'll have just one cookie" or "I'll have two scoops of ice cream") Then, enjoy your dessert without thinking about the calories EVER AGAIN. Not while you're eating, not after you've eaten it. Enjoy it.

6. Find your identity elsewhere
This sort-of goes with numbers 1 and 2. You need to have your identity in Jesus Christ and not in your appearance, so find an outlet to do something you love that makes God smile and gives you an identity: Try taking up a musical instrument, joining a photography club, or writing a blog. Find out who you are--you are much more than your weight.

7. Imagine where you would be if your health fell apart.
It's scary, but it does happen. People get sick. People get health problems. Someday, you may end up with a health issue that makes it difficult or near impossible to be as thin as you'd like, or you could end up in a situation where looks don't even matter to you anymore. If you completely lose your looks, what will you be? What will be left of you? What kind of a person will you be? Why will people value you? (they still will, you know) Read 1 Peter 3 for more on this. Develop inner character.

8. Buy a modest swimsuit
This is a huge one. If you're going to walk around in revealing clothes (especially if everyone else is also wearing revealing clothes) it's going to be much easier to feel insecure about your weight. Instead, buy a modest swimsuit. I wear a boys' t-shirt and shorts over mine. Yeah, it bugs me that I can't go to the pool and look skinny. But it also reminds me that being loving is more important than being skinny.

9. Stop caring for a day
Try wearing a full skirt, that one shirt you bought that's bit too big, or that giant hoodie. Just spending a day once in awhile going out of the house wearing something that DOESN'T make you feel skinny can do wonders for your self-confidence. Don't feel like you have to make a habit of dressing down, of course. It's okay to look good and know what clothes flatter your figure (modestly, of course) But spend a day once in awhile to remind yourself that what really matters about you is your inner beauty and your personality, and not your outer shell.

10. Make a list of Bible verses that describe you as a whole person
Look through the Bible, search BibleGateway.org, search on Google--do whatever it takes to find some great Bible verses that say "This is who you are." Find out who God says you are on the inside. Find out what He thinks about you. Make a list of Bible verses that describe how God thinks of you and who God says you are, and then work on memorizing them (you can even keep the list in your pocket).

There you have them--10 ways to feel better about your weight. Hope they helped! :)

Dating the wrong guy

I saw this article today and just had to post a link to it. It's called "Tell Somebody: 10 Surprising Signs You're Dating an Abusive Guy."

As I read this, I didn't just realize that it could be easy to overlook key warning signs (such as possessiveness and jealously) in a relationship--I also realized that we, as girls, can many times have the same issues. Maybe they don't come out ultimately in our abusing anybody, but they're hurtful habits nonetheless.

Think about it...how many friends have you had who were possessive of their boyfriends? Obsessive? Controlling?

Yeah. It's not good, for them or their boyfriend.

So, read the article. Take note of the 10 signs. And make a mental note to change your attitude as well, if necessary.

That's what prayer is for

I want to save the world.

You see, I have a problem. I want to help orphans abroad and foster care kids in America. I want to help slaves and freed kids, and kids at risk for slavery. I want to help kids in the inner city in America and in the jungles of Africa. I want to help feed the starving physically, and I want to help feed prosperous American teens spiritually. I want to help sick kids in the hospital and athletic kids in sports. I want to help animals and people. I want to do everything.

And I'm not alone. Chances are, you've been faced with this issue as well.

So, what do we do?

God's been reminding me of a couple things recently...

1. I can't do everything. I can't save the world.

2. But God can save the world. That's what prayer is for.

Prayer is our bringing a need to God's attention and pleading with Him to intervene. My favorite example of this is in Genesis 18, when Abraham convinces God to hold back His destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah for ten good people.

God hears our prayers. And that's how we--and He--can save the world.

The Respect Dare: Day 4

(feeling a little lost? See what this is all about)

(Sorry it took me so long to get this one up!)

Romans 12:9 and 11 say, "Your love must be real...Do not be lazy but work hard, serving the Lord with all your heart."

What's on your parents' to-do list? Go grocery shopping? Fix the doorhandle? Clean the oven?

What isn't getting done? And how hard are you working to show them that your love is real?

Believe it or not, your parents have a long list of to-dos--and they're probably not getting done with everything they'd like to do, whether in the way of chores around the house or fun things like reading books or spending time with friends.

Help take a bit of the load off your parents' shoulders today. Pay attention to the things they need done. Offer to help--or, better yet, surprise them! They'll not only appreciate the thoughtfulness, but they'll be relieved that you've taken something off their list of to-dos.

In a sentence...Do one unexpected chore or task on your own initiative. :)

Some ideas:

• Do the laundry
• Clean the bathroom
• Weed the garden
• Dust and/or vacuum the house
• Clean the oven
• Go grocery shopping
• Take one of your siblings to their activities
• Make dinner--and make enough to freeze some leftovers

Don't forget to keep doing what your parents tell you to (day 1) without complaining or arguing (day 2), obeying with a cheerful spirit and a smile (day 3)!