Tough Questions Post 1: Did They Go To Hell?

Welcome to the first post in my series "Tough Questions."
Someone on a Christian discussion board once asked how to handle a conversation like this:

Non-believer: My brother just died.
Believer: I'm so sorry! That must be so hard.
Non-believer: Yeah, it's tough. But I know I'll get to see him in heaven someday.
Believer: Your brother was a Christian?
Non-believer: No, but he was a great person. He'll go to heaven, right?

The believer wanted to know how to tell the non-believer, basically, "Your brother went to hell" without being too harsh.

Well, here's my answer: you don't have to lie, and you don't have to tell them their brother went to hell. Because you don't know for sure that he did.

Example: Charles witnesses to Bob. Bob turns down the gospel invitation and drives away. Bob is driving on the highway when he realizes that he really does need God. Bob becomes a Christian. Bob reaches for his cell phone to call Charles, and a drunk driver swerves in Bob's lane while Bob is looking down. Bob dies.

Should Charles live life believing that Bob went to hell? No, of course not! Just because Charles doesn't know that Bob became a Christian doesn't mean Bob never did become a Christian. Last-minute conversions happen; think of the thief on the cross the night Jesus was crucified!

You see, we can explain the gospel to others, but we can never be sure whether they go to heaven or hell. Even those who deny God to their dying breath might, while believed to be in a coma or dead, make a last-minute decision to trust in Him.

So no, don't say "Your brother went to hell." You're not God. You don't know that.

Tell the person what you believe: no one is good enough to get into heaven, so Jesus died to pay the price for our sins. Tell them that you believe only those who trust Jesus go to heaven. But also tell them that you believe their brother could have made a conversion without their knowledge and gone to heaven. :)

Tough Questions

Hi all,
I'd like to start a series called "Tough Questions."
Please comment with your question ideas - they can be your question's, a friend's questions, a relative's questions, something you read in a book....any tough questions dealing with Christianity.

Psalm 105:14-15

¹⁴ He allowed no one to oppress them;
for their sake he rebuked kings:

¹⁵ "Do not touch my anointed ones;
do my prophets no harm."

This passage is from Psalm 105. Here, God speaks of how He protected the Israelites.

Some observant Christians may see a contradiction.

The prophets certainly underwent harm. The Israelites certainly were oppressed - they were slaves, for goodness' sake!

Reading the verse in context:

¹³ [the Israelites] wandered from nation to nation,
from one kingdom to another.

Now, we could hardly call going from one conquerer to another "wandering."

Or could we?

You see, God was always in control of the Israelites' situation. He realized that, though it appeared that the conquerers were ruling the Israelites' destiny, He was protecting them and guiding them. Though it appeared that the prophets were being abused by the people, God only allowed certain harm to come their way. When extra abuse was introduced, God said "No - do my prophets no harm."
Only the things He allowed into their lives happened. Only the places He gave them they went. Their conquerers were really powerless; God was in control, doing what was best for the people and for His glory.

Now, imagine that you are an Israelite. Have you any "conquerers"? Have you imagined anything to be a controlling factor - friends, school, weather, whatnot? Realize that God sees everything - EVERYTHING - that is happening in your life right now, in the past, and in the future. He not only sees it, but He has set it up like that and it's for your best, for His glory, and for the good of those around you - all at once.

Changes your perspective, huh?

Do You Know Her Name?

That new girl in your class. Do you know her name?

Yeah, I know. Your heart goes out to her. You're praying that God will provide friends for her.

Are you brave enough to introduce yourself? Are you willing to be that friend who God provides?

I've met some amazing people. I believe that God is the One who brings people into our lives, and I know that I would never have met many of my friends if it had not been for Him.

Use that knowledge - that God is in charge - as a tool. Trust that because God brought this girl to your attention, He may want you to reach out to her.

It always shocks me when I have Christian friends who pass up opportunities to reach out to other girls. I'm thinking, "You're in the perfect position to introduce yourself - and you didn't. That girl is so unique - you will never meet anyone like her. Besides, Jesus loves her, and that's enough reason to encourage her. She's feeling uncomfortable/depressed/etc. Why, you don't even know her name. You don't know her grade or her school or her favorite movies or what makes her tick or what breaks her heart or what makes her excited or her hopes or her dreams....how can you pass up an opportunity get to know this amazing girl God has created?" Don't be like that. Get to know about people. Care about people. Don't just wildly reach out to everyone in sight in an attempt to be a better person. Reach out to those people God has given to you, those on your heart.

Trust me - when I've stepped out, even when I've felt like it may be too late to do so, I've met some amazing people and gained friends I can't imagine not knowing anymore.

I know we've all been tempted to just stay in our comfort zone. But I'm challenging you to do something different.

Today, reach out to someone who God has put on your heart.

Sin

I just realized this today...I don't have time for a whole post, but...

You know when we say someone's beautiful inside and out? Or someone is beautiful on the outside but ugly on the inside?

Everyone was created beautiful. Everyone IS beautiful on the inside. But some people let sin run rampant in their lives (willingly), and we begin to see the sin instead of the person. Not because there's anything wrong with us, but because the person is letting the sin DEFINE them.

Like people who are mean and don't care if they hurt others' feelings. They were created beautiful, and they still have that potential. They still are beautiful. But like fog on a mirror, they let sin mask their personality until all we can see is sin - and sin is ugly. When they repent of their sin, their beautiful self begins to shine through. As they try harder and harder to follow Jesus, their beauty becomes more and more obvious.

We are all beautiful on the inside..sometimes our lives just need a really good scrubbing ;)

Trying on shoes

Have you ever walked a mile in someone else's shoes? It's a life-changing experience.

OK, I realize that each person has their own grief and experiences, and that we can never truly, fully emphasize with an experience we've never been through. But just imagine for a moment that you are in someone else's shoes.

I would encourage you to walk a mile in the shoes of a fellow believer who is struggling with sin...especially before judging them.

How are your friend's circumstances difficult? How are they stressful? How are they emotionally hard to handle? Anytime we let our circumstances drain our energy, doing the right thing becomes 10 times harder. Of course, the ultimate goal is to not let our circumstances affect our behavior at all....nevertheless, sometimes we let circumstances take us for a roller coaster ride, and remembering this can help us forgive/empathize with our friends.

No, we shouldn't find excuses for sin. Sin has no excuse whatsoever. But if you have a friend who's struggling to overcome sin, don't judge him/her for the sin. Encourage your friend to keep trying to overcome it. Admire them for their strength in struggling to rise above circumstances. And pray for them, because prayer is powerful. Walk a mile in their shoes and understand this: because they are tempted, we know they are human; because they are making an effort to overcome temptation, we know they are growing stronger in Christ.

"Bad people"

Getting deja-vu while reading this post? You may have read my April 2009 post "The Right Mindset." If you haven't, go and read it, then come back. :)

Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself, "That is a bad person"?

Maybe it was because of what the person was wearing. Maybe it was because the person bragged about the immoral things they were doing. Maybe it was because they just did bad things, bragging or no bragging.

So, if they're a bad person, does that make you a good person?

"Well," you say, "I'm not a good person. Everyone sins. But I'm a better person."
Or maybe you said "Well, yes, I'd say I'm a pretty good person. I'm not perfect, but at least I try."

First of all, it's not our place to judge (James 4 - but that deserves its own blog post, so I won't say anymore on that subject).

Second, you were bad enough to need a Savior. Soak that in for a minute. Jesus died the same death for you as He did for the "bad" person. He didn't die a shorter or easier death for you.

That's because it only takes one sin to make us "bad." Saying that we're "better" than someone else is like imagining God is a videogame or a scorekeeper or handing out brownie points. It's like saying you can earn favor with God...maybe you can't earn your way to heaven, but God certainly likes you a lot better than that other person because of all the good things you're doing for Him.

Don't get me wrong. God does love all the good things we do for Him. He wants us to do our best to follow Him. But we all sin. We all put Jesus on the cross. We all need forgiveness. In fact, every good deed we do is only on Jesus' strength - we can't get credit for it, because it is God who enables us to choose to do right (James 1).

For further reading: the books of the prophets (all of the books between Isaiah and Malachi including Isaiah and Malachi), 35 reasons not to sin.

Skirts Part II: Response to Blondie

~ This response was so long, I made it into a separate post. ~

Hi Blondie,
Thanks for your comment. Your questions are valid, and I understand there is a lot of ambiguity around the skirts issue.
First of all (this is important to note), the main point of this post was not to encourage girls to succumb to peer pressure. I believe that you can be the best witness when you wear something because YOU like it, not because others like it. If you like skirts more than jeans, go ahead and wear them! I have some friends who wear skirts and are fantastic witnesses. And if you like jeans better than skirts, go ahead! I also have friends who wear only jeans (also fantastic witnesses). I wrote this post for girls who are struggling with legalistic worldviews and for girls who like both jeans and skirts equally. Of course, we should always check to ensure we are wearing modest, God-honoring clothes. That brings us to your first question: Are skirts truly a distraction?
I have struggled with the same question. About jeans being distracting to men, check out therebelution.com/modestysurvey. Jeans are only a distraction if they are tight-fitting. However, as it is difficult to find loose-fitting jeans at a decent height (on the waist or at least a little above the hips) these days, it may be safer to wear skirts. I believe that our brothers in Christ are important, and that they are a more important factor in selecting clothes than the approval of our peers. Hence, if a majority of men said that jeans were most definitely a problem, I would not wear them (I don't wear a bikkini, which is hip but immodest).
I do not, however, believe we should select clothes because men simply LIKE them (as in skirts); I believe in only concerning myself with allieviating any struggles they may have. I am not looking for their approval; therefore, I look to the modesty survey for modesty guidelines but not stylistic guidelines. I still strive to honor my father; if I marry, I will strive to honor my husband. I still dress in a feminine manner, even if I don't wear a skirt (but sometimes I do wear skirts).
Does that answer your first question? If not, please let me know and I'll try to explain futher or in different words. It's a tough issue!
Regarding your second question, "Do we have to be hip to look good?" may I say that being hip certainly helps? :) You're right - of course we don't have to be hip to look good. If you try to always dress like everyone else, that just makes you a clone. There are creative, beautiful ways to dress femininely that are not "hip." However, I think we can both agree that clothing communicates messages. I listed the messages that might be portrayed by a skirt because I don't believe girls who wear skirts are always aware that they are sending these messages. Some of these messages, such as "out of touch" and "old-fashioned," are not messages we want to send. Christianity is in-touch and relevant. We are representations of Christianity; therefore, we should be in-touch and relevant. Dressing "hip" is one way to show Christianity's relevancy. Once again, that doesn't mean we watch all the "in" movies and wear all the "in" clothes; however, it does mean that we work toward coming as close as possible while retaining righteousness.
I hope that helped!
God bless,
Ruth :)

WWJD....

I found the above picture of Jesus in heaven here and on the park bench here. I have no idea as to copyright status...please inform me if you know so that I can correctly cite and credit these two. Thanks!

What would Jesus do? Sometimes, it can be difficult to imagine....Jesus never lost his iPod, Jesus never went to a 21st century high school, Jesus didn't own a car, Jesus never watched TV.

But with a little thought, those issues simply become expressions of timeless concepts to which WWJD can be applied.

Today, I'm going to write about "How would Jesus treat people?"

Do you see the picture, above? I can just see Jesus, the Son of God - Holy God, who spoke with Moses and guided Daniel, who protected David and Shadrack, Meshack, and Abendago, who created the entire universe, who created each of the trillions of people who have ever lived on the earth and who loves every one of the billions of people on earth, who has angels worshipping Him 24/7 - sitting and listening to one boy in the park. Just listening for awhile; then, offering advice and comfort. Genuinely caring.

Here's a thought to chew on: Jesus died for everyone. You know the graphic, horrible description of Jesus' last hours on earth. You know He did that for you. You know He would have done that if you were the only person on earth. You know He did that because He loves you.

Well, Jesus also did that for the kid who sits alone at lunch. Think about that for a second: Jesus died for the kid that sits alone at lunch. Because He loves that kid. He would have done it if that kid was the only person on earth. If that kid matters so much to Jesus, shouldn't that kid matter to us as well?

Jesus died to save the nerd in class who doesn't get a clue. He died to save the uncool. He died to save the lonely. He died to save the goths and the emos and the punks. He died to save the special needs kids. He died to save the rich kids and the poor kids. He died to save your siblings, your parents, and all your relatives. He died to save your best friend, and He died to save your enemy.


Jesus died for EVERYONE. Keep that in mind. Not just when you're around your friends; not just when you're at school; keep it in mind all the time. Because Jesus died for the people crossing at the intersection; Jesus died for the people shopping at the grocery store; Jesus died for the landscapers clipping the grass; Jesus died for everyone.

Worldliness

What is worldiness? Let me put this another way: How can Christians avoid worldliness? Through being generous to the poor? Through not being greedy? Through remembering that God is the source of all wealth? Yes, all those things help defer worldliness; nevertheless, worldliness is not limited to those issues.

¹My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don't show favoritism. ²Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. ³If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the poor man, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," ⁴have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

⁵Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? ⁶But you have insulted the poor. Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? ⁷Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong?

⁸If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right. ⁹But if you show favoritism, you sin...

~James 2:1-9a, NIV, thanks to BibleGateway.org

This passage is a great demonstration of problem seen even within the church. People are still people, whether they're penniless or wealthy, whether they shop at consignment stores or upscale clothing lines, whether they share a teensy apartment in a bad part of a city or they live in a gigantic mansion in the country - we should still treat them like people! I am still myself regardless of my material possessions; you are still yourself regardless of your material possessions. If you and I were buddies, I should like you because of who God made you to be, not because of what God has given your family (and vice-versa).

So what about you? Are you ready to treat everyone the same, no matter how much money they have?

A Thought about Our Culture

I may or may not return to this thought, but...
I've been reading the book Total Truth by Nancy Pearcy. It's excellent. If you ever have a chance to buy a copy, even simply to keep it as a reference book (but if you read it it's better), buy it!

Aaaanyway, there's a chapter titled "How Women Started the Culture War." So far, I love it. But it made me think: is there a chance that children today are worse prepared for adult life than they were 100 years ago?

Many of you know about the book Do Hard Things (by Alex and Brett Harris; another good book). Well, I'm sort-of thinking along those lines...you see, 100 years ago, the whole family helped the father in his business, including the children. They learned how to run a business.

Now, we may have more knowledge, and I'm not against school (in fact, I LOVE school!!!) but my point is this: in treating each part of the family as a "loner" individual and isolating ourselves from each other, we're missing out on the chance to not only share experiences together but to learn from each other (especially the kids learning from the parents).

I apologize for the grammar and composition in this post, by the way - I'm in a huge hurry, but I wanted to get this post out there. Maybe I'll go back and edit it later ;)

Why I don't listen to Taylor Swift's music

Disclaimer: this is not about Taylor Swift herself. I am very glad that she abstains from using swear words, and I'm thankful for her commitment to purity. I'm sure she has many other admirable qualities. I also realize that we are all sinners, and I am not judging her. I know that I have been just as bad of a sinner as she has been. I am simply reviewing her music because I am faced with the decision to listen or not to listen. Because I have made the choice to not listen to her music, and because it appears to be an unusual choice among Christians, I believe it is good to share why I have chosen not to listen to her music. I am not knocking free speech or imposing a restriction upon anyone except myself. I believe in free speech. Talor Swift is free to sing what she wants. You and I are free to listen or not to listen to what she sings. Just as she is free to express her opinion about her crushes, boyfriends, and ex-boyfriends, I am free to express my opinion about her songs. As a Christian, I will refrain from judging her life and motives and stick to the content of her songs.



Thank you for reading the disclaimer and understanding my viewpoint. Now, why I don't listen to Taylor Swift:


1. I don't listen because every moment is a chance to glorify God. When you listen to Taylor Swift, are you praying continually (1 Thessalonians 5:17)? Maybe so. Maybe not. If the answer is no, then every moment spent listening to Taylor Swift is indeed a moment spent ignoring your Savior. Because of this, I listen to praise songs a lot. If I have a chance to listen to a song with lyrics, I would rather spend that moment with Jesus than with anyone else.


2. I don't listen because the Bible instructs us to not awaken love early (Song of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4). Listening to songs about crushes and boyfriends could tempt me to sin in my thoughts toward someone else's future husband, taking some of my affection away from Jesus and my own future husband (if God has one in store for me). Of course, if that isn't a problem for you, great! Nevertheless, I know that many of us could dream on and on about boys who we think "look like angels," who we'd love to "kiss in the rain" as in Taylor Swift's song "Hey Stephen." Her song "Picture to Burn" could tempt us to entertain thoughts that, though they are natural, are not honoring to Jesus. Focusing on Jesus and refusing other idols can be a battle. Listening to these songs won't make the battle any easier. Yes, I know that there is much worse music out there, but there is also better music that can help us focus on Jesus.


For these two reasons, I have decided to abstain from Taylor Swift's music. Because I try to use every moment to God's glory, I don't usually listen to music that might distract me from that. Because I don't want to lead myself down the wrong road in life, I keep away from songs that could make me think less-than-godly thoughts. Sadly, Taylor Swift's music is not something I have decided to add to my iPod. Though I am overwhelmingly glad that she sings better songs than the rest of the secular world, Christians aren't called to simply be better than the world. We're called to strive toward the goal of perfection in Jesus. Though none of us will reach it in this life, He still wants us to do our best.

Taylor Swift's calling is between her and God. Maybe He is calling her to sing secular songs and be a modest, virgin role model for non-Christian girls. I don't know. It's not my life. What I do know is what God is calling me to, right now.

Thank you for reading my opinion. I will be praying for God to work in your heart and give you discernment, no matter what you decide regarding the music you listen to. I am not saying that truth is relative, because truth is absolute. I believe that, if you are a Christian, listening to Taylor Swift isn't beneficial. However, we have free will, and you are free to come to a different conclusion. Please feel free to use the comment area below to discuss this issue further, no matter if you agree or disagree. And, as always, God bless you!

The Family Under Attack

Change the world - what does that phrase bring to mind? A well in Africa? Coats for orphans? Bibles to China?
Those are all great things, but would it shock you if I said that you should focus on your family first?

God has placed you with a group of people. This group of people is not the poor in Africa or the orphans in Russia or the believers in China. Though those are all good causes, we need to first make sure that we are following God's will where we are: in our homes.

How does our world view the family?

Think about that for a moment. Then answer the next question:

How does God view the family? What should a family look like?

Then comes the final question:

Is this the way Christian families are behaving?

The world's philosophies have a tendency to creep into the Christian worldview. Unfortunately, the culture sees the family as a group of people forced to live together. Many families today are victim to many of the sins mentioned in the Bible: envy and jealosy, complaining, arguing, disrespect, impatience, selfishness, and a lack of love. How do I know? God has blessed me with a great family, but I've heard plenty of things from other people whose families are suffering from this "me-me-me" mindset. One sure sign that God values something is when it comes under spiritual attack, and the family is one of the things God has great value for. Accordingly, it is under attack today.

Skirts or blue jeans?

There has been a debate going on within the Christian community as to whether it is feminine for a girl to wear jeans.

I would like to add another question to that debate: Is it advantageous to the Gospel for a girl to wear jeans?

Is it feminine to wear jeans?
Arguably, it is more feminine to wear skirts. However, it is simple enough to be feminine in jeans as well. Buying jeans from the womens' section is a good starting point. Blouses, jewelry, and pretty updos also help. Finally, carrying a feminine purse can complete the outfit with a feminine flair. Yes, it can be feminine to wear jeans.

Is it advantageous to the Gospel for a girl to wear jeans?
That depends on the culture you're in. I've heard that, in Mexico, Christian women are associated with skirts. So, in that culture, it may be better for a girl to wear a skirt. If you'd like to minister to the Amish (I'm not kidding), wearing a skirt is a good idea. If your situation is such that wearing a skirt is (a) required, or (b) acceptable (not too unusual), I would say that it's an excellent idea.
Nevertheless, for ministering to our culture it can be helpful to wear jeans. Let's look at the five questions I presented earlier for evaluating this issue:
The main question: "Should I wear skirts?"
1. Does the Bible explicitly command it?
No

2. Will it help me connect with the culture?
Not really

3. Will it help or hurt my faith?
That depends on where you are in your walk with Jesus. If it could make you prideful, it might hurt your faith. If it could help you act feminine, it might strengthen your faith.

4. Will it help or hurt others' faith?
It might be distracting for others, be percieved as a requirement for becoming a Christian, or make them feel looked down upon. Alternatively, it could encourage them to be more modest or feminine - but only focus on that if the crowd you're dealing with is already Christians.

5. What attitude/image does it portray?
Possible images: feminine (good), prideful (bad), self-confident (good), not needing approval from others (good), out-of-touch (bad), not hip (bad), ignorant (bad), old-fashioned (neutral).
The MOST IMPORTANT question: What is God calling you to do?
My thoughts: I love skirts! However, many of the people in my life right now need to see my blue-jeans side. They need to know that I see the same things they see, that I wear some of the same things they wear, but that it doesn't change the way I act, my Christianity, or my view on life. It may be different for you, or it may be the same.

The fact is, it's not "better" to wear blue jeans or "better" to wear skirts. It all depends on your situation. Do what God is calling you to do, because that's best.

Note: I wrote this post with girls who are ministering to the lost or baby Christians of our culture in mind, since that's what this blog is about: holding on to Jesus while establishing a healthy cultural presence (discovering what it means to be "in the world, but not of the world").

Misunderstandings

Communication is one of the best skills a person can have. Needless to say, it is extremely helpful in the Christian life. From witnessing to encouraging to building Christian relationships, this is one skill that could always use a little improvement.

Jesus is the best communicator in the world. "[S]o is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it" is what God says in Isaiah 55:11. Wouldn't that be wonderful: to always let your words have the effect you desire? Hebrews 4:12 says, "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart," and 1 Timothy 3:16 says "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness." Obviously, then, the best communication is done by God Himself.

Communications between humans are less smooth. One thing that we should always be aware of is the probability of misunderstandings. If we are always willing to listen to the others' viewpoint and then calmly state our own, we will realize that many situations are much more innocent than they appear at first glance.

Let me illustrate with two examples. Mary thinks that going out to eat is special and symbolizes close friendship. Her two best friends, however, don't realize that. They think going out to eat is just that: going to a restaurant, ordering food, and eating, but nothing special. Mary's best friends go to a restaurant without Mary. Without careful, loving explanations, this friendship is doomed.
Jane tells her friend Naomi to drop by for a sleepover "next Saturday." At the time, Naomi is distracted and remembers Jane as saying "this Saturday." Naomi is dropped off at Jane's house on the wrong day, when Jane isn't home. She believes Jane is being mean to her. Naomi doesn't know that the real date was a week later, and she never shows up. Once again, an explanation between friends is in order - but doesn't always happen.

My point: don't jump to conclusions. Our words aren't magic; people don't always know what we mean. They fill in missing information from their past experiences, which may or may not be the same as our past experiences. Don't let misunderstandings divide your friendships. Instead, realize that both you and your friends were trying to do the right thing. Somehow, you got mixed up - so laugh about it! Have a good time! Schedule another fun activity, bond once again, and stay focused on Jesus, the ultimate communicator.

The right mindset

"It's OK if I get mad...it's not nearly as bad as some of the things girls my age do."
"What was wrong with it? It's not like I dyed my hair purple or skipped school."
"I'm not so bad."

If you've heard any of these voices inside your head recently, you've heard the voice of the enemy. God says that we are all sinners, and we know this - all the way up to the point when we hang out with our non-Christian friends. Then, it seems that we are somewhat good.

Before you ask why you should be hanging out with this sort of people, remember that Jesus says that "It is not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick." (Matthew 9:12) We are supposed to socialize with this sort of people so that we can shine God's truth in their lives.

However, we are not to become like them or one of them. We are told to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23). The Bible warns us that "[b]ad company corrupts good character" (1 Corinthians 15:33), so we always need to be on our watch. Yes, it can be difficult. Being around people doing "worse" sins than you can make you feel prideful.
Huge red flags should be going up here!
Are any sins "better" or "worse"? No, they're not. All sins are equal. That means that when you let your guard down on one area, even a little, you're doing something that put Jesus on the cross.
Do not settle for "good enough" by the world's standard, because with Jesus it's all or nothing.

Keep shining your light! :) :)

Week in Feminine Dress

Hi everyone,
Here's something I thought you'd be interested in: Week in Feminine Dress (Facebook).
God bless!

The lost art of letter writing

Handwritten letter. When was the last time you received one? In today's world, e-mails, twitter updates, and text messages abound. Not so for the letter; this beautiful expression of friendship has almost dwindled from society.

In this post, I'm going to evaluate the handwritten letter using the five basic questions that help me decide how important things are to our society and our faith. Feel free to change or add to this list; suggestions posted as comments are much appreciated!

The main question: "Should Christians make an effort to send handwritten, snail-mail letters? If so, how much effort?"
1. Does the Bible explicitly command it? No. Though it was the method Paul used, it was also the method his culture used to communicate.
2. Will it help me connect with the culture? Not really. Handwritten, snail-mail cards for occasions will help me show my friends they're valued, but in this culture it can never replace the <3 2 <3 connection of a txt or an e-mail. If I really want to connect, I'll have to be comfortable with electronic communication.
3. Will it help or hurt my faith? Letter writing will not hurt my faith, but texting and e-mailing can become addictive. It's good to be careful to only spend as much time is needed on these things so I can focus on face-to-face connections as well.
4. Will it help or hurt others' faith? Writing letters (but not communicating electronically) could distance me from others and make it more difficult to witness or give advice. It shouldn't hurt faith directly, but it could hurt indirectly.
5. What attitude/image does it portray? Letter writing can be seen as old-fashioned, feminine (if you use pretty stationary and good handwriting), and/or an extremely caring expression. How many people take the time to sit down and write a letter?
My thoughts: Yes - it's feminine! Yes, it's a great way to show your friends they're valued. No, you probably won't get any replies or close friendships this way. Sorry.
I recommend sending greeting cards. Homemade or store-bought, they're always a way to brighten a friend's day. They're fun to buy, fun to make, fun to write, they're feminine, they're caring, and they can't easily be replaced by an e-mail or a text.
As for close friendships, well....get out your cell phones and open your e-mail accounts!

Questions for discussion:

• How do you communicate most often? How do your friends communicate?
• Have you ever tried starting a snail-mail correspondence with your friends? What was the result?
• How can you better connect with your friends?
  

Women or Wimps?

Today, I read Susan Brownmiller's essay Femininity in 100 Great Essays (edited by Robert Diyanni).
I'd like to point out a few of the points at which I believe she is incorrect (note that our definitions of femininity are different):

• False belief: Feminine women are not career-minded.
• Correction: Feminine women can be career-minded. I'm very thankful for all the female scientists, doctors, professors, authors, businesswomen, CEOs...it's possible for women to be in positions of leadership in the business and academic world without losing their femininity.
• False belief: Feminine women are men-worshipers and men-catchers
• Correction: Femininity has nothing to do with man-worshiping. It has more to do with worshiping God and the roles and desires He places in our hearts. One can be feminine, pure, and happily single.
• False belief: Feminine women are weak and sentimental.
• Correction: Weakness and sentimentality has nothing to do with feminism. If you're weak and sentimental, that's your problem. We should find our stability in Jesus, regardless of our views on feminism. Weakness and sentimentality is never the answer.

Being feminine is dressing like a lady and acting in a polite manner. Yes, femininity includes letting men initiate discussions, relationships, and not volunteering to lead a group if a man is available to volunteer (this is in casual settings, not so much in business settings). This is practicing Biblical male leadership - NOT TO BE MISTAKEN FOR MALE SUPERIORITY, which is not Biblical! I cannot stress that enough: leaders are equal with followers. In fact, without leaders there would be no followers, and without followers there would be no leaders. Simply because women should not lead in some situations does not mean they are inferior to men. It takes a certain strength to lead, and it takes another kind of strength to follow.

Questions for discussion:

• What is your definition of feminism? How do you feel about the three points presented above? Do you have a different opinion?
  
• What are your views on male/female leadership? In what situations is it appropriate for a woman to lead? In what situations is it appropriate for her to follow? When should a woman sit back and wait for a man to lead, even if he is not initiating?

What's this blog about?

Hi girls,
I started this blog for Christian girls who are trying to establish a balance between being culturally relevant and Biblically obedient. I want to follow Christ in all I do, which means following 1 Timothy 2:7-8 ("In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us").

In the same line of thinking, however, I believe the Bible does not call us to be completely isolated from the culture:

• In Acts 10:13, Jesus tells Peter to "Kill and eat," just like the Romans in Peter's culture did. This became a witnessing tool.
• Romans 14:20 NIV: "Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble." I don't think this verse applies to food alone.
• 1 Corinthians 10:31-33 NIV: "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved." (emphasis mine)

The culture is trying to make girls look like men in the way they dress. They're trying to make girls act like men in the way they act. Nevertheless, God created men and women with equal but different roles, roles that are each beautiful in their own way. In this culture, we must find what it means to be a real, modern, feminine girl.
Besides, what would the world do without women? ;)
Questions for discussion:

• What do you think it means to be "culturally relevant"? Where do you draw the line between cultural connection and feminine living?
• What are the patterns in your life right now? Are you more feminine or more feminist? What are you doing to follow God? What are you doing that is cultural?
• Do you have any suggestions? (blog topics you'd like to see, ideas on how to be feminine yet relevant, etc).