So, after my other post, you may be wondering..."Does she think I shouldn't wear make-up?" "Is it time to throw out the curling iron?" "Should I let my hair grow without cutting it?"
The answer? Never! I would be a hypocrite to tell you those things (just one glance in my bathroom cabinet reveals a ton of make-up, lotion, a few curling irons, and a straightener, among other so-called "beauty products.") God did make you beautiful, but He also gave you creativity and style. There are many Biblical examples of women using "beauty products" to enhance their natural, God-given beauty: the Proverbs 31 woman wears purple (Old Testament high-class fashion), the Song of Solomon woman uses olive oil (Old Testament lotion), and Esther spends months in a royal beauty parlor before meeting King Xerxes. Even Paul acknowledges that women can and will wear jewelry and style their hair! In 1 Peter 3:3-4, Paul says "What matters is not your outer appearance--the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes--but your inner disposition." If he thought that it was ungodly for women to style their hair, wear jewelry, or buy clothes they thought were flattering, he would have said so! (Paul was not known for mincing words--quite the opposite.) Instead, he said that, even if we wear those things, they aren't what makes us beautiful. Our inner beauty is still what matters. (Read about cultivating inner beauty here)
The difference is whether you let the culture around you tell you what's cute or beautiful or fabulous, or whether you decide for yourself what YOU think looks cute and beautiful and fabulous.
So don't eschew the make-up counter or throw out your hair styling products. Use the beautiful creativity God's given you to enhance the physical beauty He's given you.
And enjoy it.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Beauty
Beautiful.
Are you beautiful?
I would bet money on the fact that you just thought of something you don't like about yourself. Perhaps it's the shape of your eyes, the texture of your hair, or your weight.
Let me ask you something: when you look at yourself in the mirror as you're getting ready, what is your goal? What defines "beautiful" for you? A certain style of make-up? A certain way to do your hair? A certain fashion statement?
If you were given five minutes before you walked out the door to check your wardrobe and make one change, where would you look first?
I know where I would look: my hair. My hair has this awful tendency to pop out of the styles I like to put it in. I'm always looking for new ways to do my hair, since whether or not I "look good" in a certain style depends on what my hair has decided for the day. And more often than not, as I go out the door, I notice that some of my hair has decided to pop out of the confinements of my hair tie and must be re-arranged.
I know that, when I think of "beautiful" for myself, I think of a slim girl with medium-long hair in soft curls. She has a round face and a cute little nose, big eyes (but not too big!), and a sprinkling of freckles--and a stunning smile.
Take a moment to outline your requirements for yourself. What is your goal every morning? What is your "ideal image"?
Now, I want you to notice something: part of this thing we call "culture" is the image of beauty. Think about it. All people strive toward fairly similar images of beauty, relative to where they live. Beauty is defined differently in the United States than it is in African tribes. Beauty is defined differently in the United States than it is in Canada. Beauty is even defined differently in the eastern United States than it is in the western United States! Nevertheless, you probably have a pretty good grasp on what constitutes "pretty" based on where you live.
Time also makes a difference. We all know how radically ugly '80s fabrics are...or do we? They were beautiful in the '80s. And someday, years from now, everyone will be wearing '80s clothes, and girls will be blogging about how 2010 fashions were the ugliest things ever worn.
Now, let me ask you another question: what would it take for a radical change in the fashion trend--for example, what would it take for everyone to suddenly love 80s clothes? Music stars, movie stars, and clothing companies would all start sporting flair jeans and other 80s stuff. Suddenly, skinny jeans would be in over-supply as flair jeans flew off the rack. Everyone would throw out their straighteners and spend hours each morning untangling their permed hair. And they'd do all of this with the same expectations they have today with skinny jeans and straightened hair: the expectation that they will be beautiful. Why? Because we, girls, tend to believe that "beautiful" starts with looking like everyone else.
Learn a lesson from this, ladies: we often let those in clothing companies, the music industry, and entertainment tell us how we should look and act to be "beautiful."
Why?
Why do we let those people determine how we define "beautiful"?
And who does define beautiful?
Realize this: God created you! And when He did, He said you were beautiful.
That's it. In your life, your highest aim for beauty should be to augment the beauty God has given you.
If He gave you curly hair, He thinks you're gorgeous with it. If He gave you hair that's as straight as straw, He thinks that you're beautiful with it. That is beauty. Not straightened hair. Not curly, permed hair. Not soft curls or ringlets. Whatever God gave you. That's what's beautiful.
If He gave you big ears, He thinks they're dazzling. If He gave you tiny ears, He thinks they're stunning.
And weight? As long as you're taking care of your body, eating healthily, and exercising, you should be at a weight that God intended for your figure.
Of course, there are zits and burns and freckles and such, but don't forget that nothing escapes God's notice. Yes, He was in control when you forgot to put on the sunscreen this summer and now you're peeling. He was in control when that zit showed up. And even if they're reflections of the flawed nature of the universe, they're still under God's control--
--and guess what--
He still thinks you're beautiful.
There is no one standard of beauty--unless that standard is "The Creator of the World made me to His pleasure and calls me beautiful, so I am beautiful just the way I am."
Are you beautiful?
I would bet money on the fact that you just thought of something you don't like about yourself. Perhaps it's the shape of your eyes, the texture of your hair, or your weight.
Let me ask you something: when you look at yourself in the mirror as you're getting ready, what is your goal? What defines "beautiful" for you? A certain style of make-up? A certain way to do your hair? A certain fashion statement?
If you were given five minutes before you walked out the door to check your wardrobe and make one change, where would you look first?
I know where I would look: my hair. My hair has this awful tendency to pop out of the styles I like to put it in. I'm always looking for new ways to do my hair, since whether or not I "look good" in a certain style depends on what my hair has decided for the day. And more often than not, as I go out the door, I notice that some of my hair has decided to pop out of the confinements of my hair tie and must be re-arranged.
I know that, when I think of "beautiful" for myself, I think of a slim girl with medium-long hair in soft curls. She has a round face and a cute little nose, big eyes (but not too big!), and a sprinkling of freckles--and a stunning smile.
Take a moment to outline your requirements for yourself. What is your goal every morning? What is your "ideal image"?
Now, I want you to notice something: part of this thing we call "culture" is the image of beauty. Think about it. All people strive toward fairly similar images of beauty, relative to where they live. Beauty is defined differently in the United States than it is in African tribes. Beauty is defined differently in the United States than it is in Canada. Beauty is even defined differently in the eastern United States than it is in the western United States! Nevertheless, you probably have a pretty good grasp on what constitutes "pretty" based on where you live.
Time also makes a difference. We all know how radically ugly '80s fabrics are...or do we? They were beautiful in the '80s. And someday, years from now, everyone will be wearing '80s clothes, and girls will be blogging about how 2010 fashions were the ugliest things ever worn.
Now, let me ask you another question: what would it take for a radical change in the fashion trend--for example, what would it take for everyone to suddenly love 80s clothes? Music stars, movie stars, and clothing companies would all start sporting flair jeans and other 80s stuff. Suddenly, skinny jeans would be in over-supply as flair jeans flew off the rack. Everyone would throw out their straighteners and spend hours each morning untangling their permed hair. And they'd do all of this with the same expectations they have today with skinny jeans and straightened hair: the expectation that they will be beautiful. Why? Because we, girls, tend to believe that "beautiful" starts with looking like everyone else.
Learn a lesson from this, ladies: we often let those in clothing companies, the music industry, and entertainment tell us how we should look and act to be "beautiful."
Why?
Why do we let those people determine how we define "beautiful"?
And who does define beautiful?
Realize this: God created you! And when He did, He said you were beautiful.
That's it. In your life, your highest aim for beauty should be to augment the beauty God has given you.
If He gave you curly hair, He thinks you're gorgeous with it. If He gave you hair that's as straight as straw, He thinks that you're beautiful with it. That is beauty. Not straightened hair. Not curly, permed hair. Not soft curls or ringlets. Whatever God gave you. That's what's beautiful.
If He gave you big ears, He thinks they're dazzling. If He gave you tiny ears, He thinks they're stunning.
And weight? As long as you're taking care of your body, eating healthily, and exercising, you should be at a weight that God intended for your figure.
Of course, there are zits and burns and freckles and such, but don't forget that nothing escapes God's notice. Yes, He was in control when you forgot to put on the sunscreen this summer and now you're peeling. He was in control when that zit showed up. And even if they're reflections of the flawed nature of the universe, they're still under God's control--
--and guess what--
He still thinks you're beautiful.
There is no one standard of beauty--unless that standard is "The Creator of the World made me to His pleasure and calls me beautiful, so I am beautiful just the way I am."
Friday, October 8, 2010
Encouragement from Your Brothers in Christ
I thought I'd share some of the comments from The Modesty Survey. These quotes are responses to the question " If you could say one thing to your sisters in Christ about modesty, what would it be?"
(note: If you've never heard of the Modesty Survey before, click here to view it--it's the results of a survey taken by just over 1,000 Christian guys. The questions dealt with hot topics in modesty, such as "Are bikinis modest?" and "Do I have to wear a denim jumper all the time to be modest?" It's a fantastic resource).
The quotes are...
(note: If you've never heard of the Modesty Survey before, click here to view it--it's the results of a survey taken by just over 1,000 Christian guys. The questions dealt with hot topics in modesty, such as "Are bikinis modest?" and "Do I have to wear a denim jumper all the time to be modest?" It's a fantastic resource).
The quotes are...
There is one that is more in love with you than any man can ever be. You are incredibly valuable to Him, and you never need question His commitment to Him. He thinks you're beautiful in the morning without your makeup, and He'll think you're just as beautiful when you're 80. He is Christ. In you should treat Him with the loyalty and respect of a Husband. There is no need to attract a man to you - Christ will lead the right man to you. And when someone that loves you as much as Christ arranges a marriage, you may rest assured it will be far better than anything you could have done. You are His - be content there.
~~~
Sisters in Christ, we men in society have miserably failed at appreciating true womanhood. On behalf of every man out there who has painted a distorted picture in your life of what a real woman is, especially along the lines of modesty, I apologize deeply. There are many Godly men out there, as I'm sure this survey will prove, that are dying to give you their utmost respect when you choose to follow God's leading in this area of modesty in your life. We back you up all the way and want to do anything we can to help you. And we ask that you do all you can to help us as we struggle through this world of sin together.
~~~
In high school, the place of greatest temptation toward lust was my church. Girls wore things to church that they thought were fashionable and dressy, but they would not have passed the dress code at my public high school. Church should NEVER be a guy's greatest source of temptation, in any way. Please, be especially careful when picking out your dress clothes for church, and make sure they are modest when sitting and kneeling (if you kneel in church), not just standing in front of the mirror.
~~~
Please don’t take modesty lightly. As your brother in Christ I value the relationship that I will have with my wife someday. When I am tempted because of you I lose a part of myself that I am trying to save for her. When I’m tempted because of you I become that much more accepting of the perversions in the world. When you remain pure and modest, my life is made so much easier. Instead of watching to ensure that I don’t sin I can focus on you as a person and fellow follower of Christ. I appreciate modesty more than you’ll ever know. Please, show respect of yourself and of me and be modest.
~~~
Dearest sister: God made you a thing of beauty. A thing to be admired and respected. When you dress or act in a way that draws attention to your body, you make it easy for the guys around you to reduce you to the level of a disgusting toy - using you to mentally satisfy their fantasies. They stop thinking about your Godly qualities and immerse themselves in sinful thought. By dressing and acting modestly, you draw attention to your face instead of your body. Your body may be alluring, but your face - those deep, mysterious eyes and smiling mouth - is infinitely more beautiful than any amount of revealing dress. Would you rather be the tool by which guys satisfy themselves or the beautiful thing God created you to be, pure for your husband? My flesh prefers the former, but my heart pleads for the latter.
~~~
A girl's dress proclaims her priorities and values louder than if she got on a chair and screamed them to the world. When critically examining a woman's get-up, I consider the following: Could she get down on the floor and play with a group of toddlers without losing several articles of clothing? Could she get away from a threatening situation without spraining an ankle? Could she prepare and maintain a house and its members easily? Could she be the Proverbs 31 woman dressed like that?
~~~
For those of you trying to be modest, thank you, thank you, thank you! I certainly notice it and am grateful for it.
~~~
Keep persevering! Your efforts are appreciated and noticed, even though you may not be able to see that. It serves us guys tremendously, not only in not being tempted each time we look at you, but also knowing that you care and that your heart attitude is to serve. Thank you for guarding the guys!
~~~
Thank you to all my sisters who seek to please God with modest clothing and behavior. You really show love and care for others when you dress modestly and do not flirt. There are some especially modest, attractive women in my church who realize that their brothers need help in this area. We men don't appreciate and thank you sisters enough for the thoughtfulness and work you put into dressing modestly. Please keep it up. Not only is your modesty helpful in keeping your brothers from sin, but it is also an attractive quality in a future wife (Prov 31:30).
~~~
When a girl dresses modestly, it helps to cut down on temptation drastically. Physical purity for guys is just as hard as emotional purity is for girls. Modesty actually makes a girl more beautiful because it shows where her heart is before God.
~~~
You have no idea how much it means to me as a guy when I see girls who are doing their best to be modest. These are girls that I feel completely comfortable being friends with, and by their actions they demand my respect. Modesty will win you the friendship of guys who will care about you as a person and will see you as a sister in Christ before they see you as anything else, and modesty will protect you from guys who only care about your looks and who see you only as a potential girlfriend.
~~~
Modesty is not about discovering the right rules and following them, although guidelines and standards are very useful. Modesty is about being so satisfied, fulfilled, and secure in your relationship with God that you do not feel the need to display yourself immodestly. That security is where the beauty of the heart comes from, and that security is what will catch the right guy's attention.
~~~
Honestly, a girl that dresses modestly yet attractively will catch my eye far more (or at least in far more of a positive manner) than will a girl that feels the need to expose parts of her just to get attention. When it seems like you're alone, just remember that there are guys out there that care, and that will thank you someday for the stand you have taken. May God bless you as you seek to glorify Him each day
~~~
It's appreciated more than you know. You have no idea how much I appreciate my sisters in Christ who dress modestly, because I can be around them without having to struggle to keep my thoughts pure. And I find girls who dress modestly more attractive than those who dress immodestly. It speaks volumes about the kind of person you are. It might be a cliche, but real beauty IS on the inside.
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