I want a guy...

I have a list. In fact, I would guess most of you reading this also have a list (consiously or sub-consiously). It's a list of qualities you want your future husband to have. Some (okay, many) are little quirky things, and some matter.

Take a moment to think about your list. Some items on my "quirky" list included:

• He has to be musical. By this, I mean that he has to be proficient at aucousitc guitar and piano, and he must be able to sing.
• He has to sing "I can't help falling in love with you" on a date, the same way Tim Urban sang it on American Idol.
• He has to be taller than I, well-built and muscular but not overweight.
• He has to have enough fashion knowledge to dress sensibly, but not so much that he totally loves clothes shopping (he is a guy, after all).
• He has to have enough knowledge of cleaning and cooking to be of some help, but I want to be the one cleaning and cooking--so I don't want him to love to clean or love to cook or be super especially good at those things.
• He has to propose to me on the beach. Preferably, an empty California beach. At sunset. On one knee.
• I don't want him to ever wear a purity ring (that's girly).
• He has to have never owned a pair of flip-flops (also girly).
• Note that this list has changed dramatically over the years and may continue to change.

You know what I recently realized? This entire list is trash. That's right--trash. Because I'm sure God can find a wonderful, amazing, mind-blowing man I don't even deserve--who can't sing, or proposes somewhere other than the beach, or *gasp* wears flips flops. One who I'd love with all my heart, who I wouldn't trade for the world. On the other hand, I could find a complete jerk who I would hate who meet all of my criteria. He might do everything on this list, but really be nothing like the man I want to marry. This list means nothing!

Here's my current list:

• He has to love God, love church, love worship, and be open about his faith.
• He has to feel a calling to Russian orphans (because that's where I feel my calling).
• He has to be a good, strong but gentle leader.
• He has to be committed to purity, including our first kiss.
• He has to be forgiving and gracious, understanding, and have a good grasp on the meaning of "tough love" (just in case he ever needs to show me some--like letting me take the consequences for my own mistakes so that I learn from them and don't do them again, but not going too far with the concept as to be harsh :)
• He has to adore God more than anything else.
• He has to read the Bible daily.
• He has to have been a Christian at least as long as I, and be just as strong (if not stronger) in his faith.
• He has to be protective and brave.

This list--this means something. I could find my dream guy/prince charming with this list. If he meets these criteria, he definitely is "quality"!

Because you know what? Things like preferences about music, height, proposals, etc., those preferences can change. If I relied on those, I'd be pretty foolish--one day, I might love a man because he can sing "Can't Help Falling in Love With You," and the next day I might dump him because he could sing that song (if I decided I wanted someone who couldn't sing). But if I focus on the godly qualities, none of those things matter.

I've made a decision. I'm going to wait to meet my future husband, and then watch God write my perfect love story (instead of trying to make up my story ahead of time). And while I'm waiting, I'll watch out for those qualities that God says are important.