Siblings

I've noticed a misunderstanding between most older and younger siblings. As my brother and I have worked this out, I thought I'd post on it for your benefit :) (note: I think many of you middle children probably have this figured out, since you're both a younger and an older sibling)

First, I'll write a post directed at younger siblings; then, I'll say a few things for the older siblings:

Younger siblings

We older siblings don't usually mind if you know more than us--OK, it bothers us a little, since we've grown up imagining that we're the "big kid" and that we're going to teach you. But we get over it. We expect you to be better at some things. In fact, we're happy for you when you succeed! My brother, who is several years younger than I, has taught me things about cars that I never knew. At the same time, however, I can teach him things.

What does bother older siblings is when you claim to know more than what you really know; older siblings can tell when you know something and when you don't. Also, it's frustrating when you refuse to learn in areas where older siblings obviously have some experience. For example, if your older sibling tells you "You better break such-and-such a habit, it won't help you later in life," chances are (1) they had that habit, and suffered the consequences, and now don't want you to go through that, or (2) they had a friend with that habit and saw what happened and don't want that to happen to you. Now, maybe you don't see why you need to break the habit they mentioned, but it's best to accept what they say (arguing won't solve anything!). Honestly, it can't hurt to break the habit, even if it's a little inconvenient.

Older siblings

Don't forget about when you were younger and thought you knew everything! Realize that your younger siblings probably can't understand how you've learned dozens of lessons in the few years you've lived longer than them, and be patient. It's not your fault if their bad habits hurt them; it's not your fault if they misunderstand something and refuse to listen to the real cause; it's not your job to raise your siblings, no matter how much you may want to help them. Yes, help them, but don't push it to the point of argument; it's not worth risking your relationship for little things. If you learned a lesson the hard way, they can, too...though I'm all for attempting to save them from learning things the hard way, sometimes that's what has to happen. Just accept it. You lived through it, and so will they, and by avoiding arguments you will strengthen your relationship. Besides, after they've learned something the hard way, they may remember that you had warned them and listen to you in the future! :)