Convo Starters: Back to December

Hi everyone! I'm starting a new series called (oh-so-cleverly) "Convo Starters." I'll post (can you guess?) natural conversation starters that can be used when your friends bring up a song. That way, the next time your friends start singing one of these songs, you can say, "Oh, hey, did you ever think about ___?" It's a great way to get them to start thinking about God, spiritual things, and the gospel--especially since they will hopefully think about what you said every time they hear the song. These simple conversations could positively impact the person's worldview and lifestyle. 

Today's song is "Back to December" by Taylor Swift. In case you live in a cave somewhere and haven't heard this song yet, I've provided the music video and lyrics below for your benefit. If you've heard the song already, go ahead and skip down to the convo starters :)

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier than ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why

'Cause the last time you saw me
Still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright
I go back to December all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side and
Realized I loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I'd go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine and
I go back to December, turn around and make it alright and
I go back to December, turn around and change my own mind and
I go back to December all the time

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/taylor_swift/back_to_december.html

Conversation starters:

REGRET/GRACE: Have you ever felt like that? You know, regretting something you did, and just re-living it over and over? *tell a little about a time you felt like that, then let your friend open up and share.* 

End with: It's a relief to know that Jesus isn't going to leave us no matter how many mistakes we make.

COMMITMENT/LOVE: I think it's so sad, the way she treated her boyfriend! She just left his flowers out to die, and forgot to call--I'd be pretty mad, if I were him. It can be easy to take people for granted, I guess, but [when I get a boyfriend] I know I definitely want to remember to make a point to show my boyfriend he's valued. *if you already have a boyfriend, point out an area where you can improve in this area, then let your friend share*

I guess love isn't worth as much if you're not showing the other person they're loved. *let your friend comment. If they want, you can talk more about this. If not, or when you're ready to move on, you can go to the next point*

You know, that's kinda like what the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13. Love isn't so much as a feeling as it is an action.

*possibly apply this to family relationships and friendships*

End with: *make a pact with your friend. You each name one specific area where you'll make an effort to show someone your love in action. If possible, name some specific things you'll start doing*

FORGIVENESS: 

I think it's so sad, the way she treated her boyfriend! She just left his flowers out to die, and forgot to call--I'd be pretty mad, if I were him. But I guess everybody makes mistakes. I know I haven't been perfect. *name a time when you were negligent or did something that hurt someone you loved, but looking back you regret it.* 

End with: It's nice to know that NO ONE is perfect. I think knowing that makes it easier to forgive each other.

And, of course, I can't finish this post without reviewing the song.... ;-) 

Synopsis: Taylor Swift, known for demanding apologies, for the first time offers her own apology to one of her ex-boyfriends.

Background: According to Wikipedia, this may have been written about her Twilight-famous ex Taylor Lautner--but that's just unconfirmed rumors.

Central theme:  Regret

Good lessons: Taylor humbles herself and apologizes ("This is me swallowing my pride/Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night"), admits that what she did was wrong ("If we loved again I swear I'd love you right" implies that the previous time was wrong), and acknowledges that she may never get back what she lost in her carelessness ("I'd go back in time and change it but I can't/So if the chain is on your door, I understand"; carelessness in letting the roses he sent die and in not calling on his birthday).

Bad lessons: The only bad point of this song is in the bridge, when Taylor references the boy's physical features ("I miss your tan skin") instead of his character qualities. The first thing that comes to mind when you think of a man should not be his looks (yes, those are important, but they're not the most important thing!) but his character (after all, if you get married, when he's 80 he probably won't have the same good looks you see today!). In addition, she talks about a...ahem...not sure I want to use the word "intimate"...but, you know, a moment when he saw her cry and held her in his arms ("And how you held me in your arms that September night/The very first time you saw me cry") which might cause us girls to fantasize about hugs from our crushes while we cry. That's really not something we should fantasize about until after we're married.

Overall: This song is actually a Taylor Swift song I'd recommend. It shows that relationships require commitment. It encourages humility, without the deception of a false apology (think "I'm sorry I don't have a boyfriend anymore" versus "I'm sorry I hurt you.") However, obsessing too much over past mistakes can be a bad thing, so don't over-listen to the song.