Convo Starers: Single Ladies

Yes, I'm actually posting about a Beyonce song. It's a song many of us will be hearing in the next week (some of us might be singing the opening line to ourselves as we walk past huge pink heart displays ;).

I'm not going to post the music video to this one, just because I didn't feel the need to post a video of three ladies in black swimsuits looking at the camera and shaking their hips. Seriously, that's pretty much the whole video. While, as a dancer, I can appreciate the tremendous amount of work that must have gone into the dance for the music video, as a Christian I don't support dances that are created to make guys lust. 

Instead, I'm posting a video that just has lyrics. I'll also put the lyrics below just in case the video doesn't work for you.

All the single ladies (7x)

Now put your hands up
Up in the club, we just broke up
I’m doing my own little thing
you Decided to dip but now you wanna trip
Cuz another brother noticed me
I’m up on him, he up on me
dont pay him any attention
cuz i cried my tears, GAVE three good years
Ya can’t be mad at me

[Chorus]
Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it

wo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh x2


(Chorus)Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it


I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips
hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans
acting up, drink in my cup
I couldnt care less what you think
I need no permission, did I mention
Dont pay him any attention
Cuz you had your turn
But now you gonna learn
What it really feels like to miss me

(Chorus)

Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it

woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh oh 2x

Don’t treat me to the things of this world
I’m not that kind of girl
Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve
Is a man that makes me, then takes me
And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond
Pull me into your arms
Say I’m the one you WANT
If you don’t, you’ll be alone
And like a ghost I’ll be gone

All the single ladies (7x)
Now put your hands up
woo oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh 
oh oh oh 2x

Cuz if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it woo oh ooh 2x

http://www.elyricsworld.com/single_ladies_lyrics_beyonce.html

Conversation starters:

Actually, this song's a pretty poor conversation starter. It has some pretty applicable messages, but nobody pays attention to them--most people just remember "All the single ladies *repeat a random number of times*/If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it *repeat a random number of times*/Oh oh oh *repeat a random number of times*" 

Believe it or not, though, that can be a good thing! Those lyrics by themselves provide enough information to encourage girls to wait for a boyfriend who will commit to them--you really don't need to add much, if anything. 

For those rare cases where your friends might pick up on the second verse ("I got gloss on my lips/A man on my hips/Hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans..."), you could mention that it's sad that, while Beyonce claims to find power in being single and getting to flirt with other guys, she's really still obsessing over her ex-boyfriend and trying to get his attention--and she isn't happy at all. Be sure to mention that she really just needs to let go of her ex-boyfriend and accept that he's a jerk. Alternatively, you could bring up thoughts about how a guy who really loves you isn't going to love you for your body. Remind your friends that a good guy loves you for your heart. You might mention that Beyonce probably got into trouble the first time because her boyfriend only loved her for her body, and that by the second verse she really hasn't learned her lesson. 

In any case, your conversations will really depend on the situation. Read over the main themes of the song (below) so that you're ready for any opportunity!

Synopsis: Beyonce breaks up with the boy she's been living with for the past 3 years, goes to a club to party, and finds another man--all in an effort to make her now-ex-boyfriend jealous (and possibly inspire him to chase her and marry her).

Background: According to Wikipedia, the song's inspiration was Beyonce and Jay-Z's secret marriage.

Central theme: Commitment

Good lessons: Beyonce breaks off an unhealthy relationship ("Up in the club/We just broke up") and doesn't mope over it ("All the single ladies/Now put your hands up"). She tells her ex-boyfriend that if he really loved her he would have married her ("If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it"). 

Bad lessons: Beyonce turns to anger and revenge ("Don't be made once you see that he want it/...I got gloss on my lips/A man on my hips/Hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans/...You had your turn/Now you're gonna learn/What it really feels like to miss me"). Despite her peppy lines about "single ladies," she's really still obsessing over her ex-boyfriend. 

Overall: This song, while it makes good points about commitment and marriage and is a powerful "theme song" for those of us who are single, in reality promotes an unhealthy attitude. Listen with caution...there's only one line in this song that's golden, and it's one you should repeat often: "If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it." Don't go out with a guy who isn't serious about honoring you!