Dress to Communicate

The way we dress communicates a lot about what we think. Different people dress different ways for different reasons. Sometimes, we dress a certain way to fit in. Sometimes, we dress a certain way to stand out. Sometimes we dress a certain way because we don't know how else to handle something in our life. But we usually dress to communicate. "Accept me." "Love me." "Look at me." "Admire me." "Envy me." Help me."

Maybe you're one of those people who are looking for help, but you're confused. You try to communicate "help me" through the way you dress. Or maybe you're trying to tell people about something that's going on inside of you, like "I'm depressed" or "I'm upset." If you are one of those people, it's okay--everyone needs help sometimes.

I've put the following in prayer-format for you, but you don't have to pray it if you don't want to. Maybe not everything below applies to you; that's okay. Like I said above, different people dress differently for different reasons. I'm posting the prayer below for those who need it.

And please know that you're not judged. I know that life is tough. Maybe you're not ready for the prayer below, and that's okay too. As long as you're following God, He'll lead you to His heart in His timing--and that's where you want to be.

"Dear God,
I've been wanting help. I've been crying for help, wanting to tell people that something is wrong. Wanting to tell people that I don't have all the answers, and that I'm looking for someone to help me learn them. Wanting to let people know that I don't always make the right choices, and that I need someone to rescue me.

Thank You so much for loving me, for knowing me intimately, and for dying on the cross for me. I love You and I want to follow Your ways.

If anything, I can communicate that I don't have all the answers, but that I have some--and that I'm willing to follow what I've learned right now, not at some future date when I have life all figured out. After all, I won't have all the answers until I die and go to heaven. So, since I'm following You, even though I don't have all the answers in my life, I'll follow what You've told me for now and learn more every day. You know that I sometimes head down the wrong path in life. You know that everyone sometimes chooses the wrong things. That's why You died for everyone. In fact, everyone already knows I'm not perfect. But what You want me to tell people is not that I make some wrong choices every day, but that You have rescued me from my sin. Help me communicate that.

Thank You so much for loving me and caring about me, and please help me to follow You every moment of my life. I love you.
In Jesus' name, Amen."

Women or Wimps?

Today, I read Susan Brownmiller's essay Femininity in 100 Great Essays (edited by Robert Diyanni).
I'd like to point out a few of the points at which I believe she is incorrect (note that our definitions of femininity are different):

• False belief: Feminine women are not career-minded.
• Correction: Feminine women can be career-minded. I'm very thankful for all the female scientists, doctors, professors, authors, businesswomen, CEOs...it's possible for women to be in positions of leadership in the business and academic world without losing their femininity.
• False belief: Feminine women are men-worshipers and men-catchers
• Correction: Femininity has nothing to do with man-worshiping. It has more to do with worshiping God and the roles and desires He places in our hearts. One can be feminine, pure, and happily single.
• False belief: Feminine women are weak and sentimental.
• Correction: Weakness and sentimentality has nothing to do with feminism. If you're weak and sentimental, that's your problem. We should find our stability in Jesus, regardless of our views on feminism. Weakness and sentimentality is never the answer.

Being feminine is dressing like a lady and acting in a polite manner. Yes, femininity includes letting men initiate discussions, relationships, and not volunteering to lead a group if a man is available to volunteer (this is in casual settings, not so much in business settings). This is practicing Biblical male leadership - NOT TO BE MISTAKEN FOR MALE SUPERIORITY, which is not Biblical! I cannot stress that enough: leaders are equal with followers. In fact, without leaders there would be no followers, and without followers there would be no leaders. Simply because women should not lead in some situations does not mean they are inferior to men. It takes a certain strength to lead, and it takes another kind of strength to follow.

Questions for discussion:

• What is your definition of feminism? How do you feel about the three points presented above? Do you have a different opinion?
  
• What are your views on male/female leadership? In what situations is it appropriate for a woman to lead? In what situations is it appropriate for her to follow? When should a woman sit back and wait for a man to lead, even if he is not initiating?

What's this blog about?

Hi girls,
I started this blog for Christian girls who are trying to establish a balance between being culturally relevant and Biblically obedient. I want to follow Christ in all I do, which means following 1 Timothy 2:7-8 ("In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us").

In the same line of thinking, however, I believe the Bible does not call us to be completely isolated from the culture:

• In Acts 10:13, Jesus tells Peter to "Kill and eat," just like the Romans in Peter's culture did. This became a witnessing tool.
• Romans 14:20 NIV: "Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble." I don't think this verse applies to food alone.
• 1 Corinthians 10:31-33 NIV: "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved." (emphasis mine)

The culture is trying to make girls look like men in the way they dress. They're trying to make girls act like men in the way they act. Nevertheless, God created men and women with equal but different roles, roles that are each beautiful in their own way. In this culture, we must find what it means to be a real, modern, feminine girl.
Besides, what would the world do without women? ;)
Questions for discussion:

• What do you think it means to be "culturally relevant"? Where do you draw the line between cultural connection and feminine living?
• What are the patterns in your life right now? Are you more feminine or more feminist? What are you doing to follow God? What are you doing that is cultural?
• Do you have any suggestions? (blog topics you'd like to see, ideas on how to be feminine yet relevant, etc).