The Real Cause of Conflict

Want to know why we teens have so much drama?
Why, as a teenager, it's all of a sudden so easy to unintentionally get into conflict with everyone?
Ever leave a conflict feeling awful but having no clue how to avoid future conflict?

The Bible, believe it or not, has some fantastic advice about these confusing conflicts. In fact, in the book of James, God asks the same question--"What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?"

Then, He gives us the answer (it's always nice when the teacher gives the answers, isn't it?:). God says this is the reason we argue: "Your passions are at war within you."

Isn't that the truth. Sometimes it does feel like a full-fledged World War III is going on inside our heads and hearts.

The question is, what passions are at war? And which do we value most?

Take a minute to make a list of your passions in order of priorities. Then, compare it to God's list:

1. Love God, and demonstrate that love through obedience

John 15:5-8, The Message: "I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you're joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can't produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

2. Honor my parents, and demonstrate that honor through obedience

Ephesians 6:1, The Message: "Children, do what your parents tell you. This is only right. 'Honor your father and mother' is the first commandment that has a promise attached to it, namely, 'so you will live well and have a long life.'"

3. Love my siblings

1 John 4:20, The Message: "If anyone boasts, 'I love God,' and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won't love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can't see?" (I've never hated my brother--but love is an action, not a word. I've always deeply cared about my brother, but, considering that love is an action, I'm grieved to admit I know I haven't always loved him)

4. Share God's love and joy with others through service

Galatians 5:13-14, The Message: "It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows."

I'll finish up with Philippians 2:1-4: "If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you, if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor: Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top. Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead. Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand."